Mieka No comment yet

...

not in the mood for your conversation
I have nothing to say to you
don't want to see you
hate that I'm thinking of you...writing this for you
I want to cuss you out ..*beep* beep* beep* you
point my finger in ya face get ghetto
for then maybe you'll see
only that's not me
so instead I'll take some space just for me
take a time out away from you
Mieka No comment yet

friend...s


I don't know how I got to this point ..
but I'm not sure if I even like you
know that I love you after all this friendship has been going on for years
but do I like you?
I hate how you lie by omitting things
and I hate that so much about you is in shadow
I hate how you think you're nice when in fact you're anything but
I hate how inconsiderate you are and how you never seem to be willing to simply offer to help
not sure when this happened but maybe it's always held true
maybe circumstances pushed us together
maybe it wasn't simply me and you
I hate that sometimes you seem so fake
so uncaring so not a friend
I hate that I still want to be there for you
make you smile when you're sad
be your support when you're in need
you know the way it always seem to be
me there for you ... you sometimes there for me
I hate that you're so in tuned with my life
and yet I'm standing on the outside of yours
don't know how much longer I can just be here
Cause see I'm not sure if I even like you anymore
Mieka No comment yet

Maybe


So I like him
not sure if this is simply attraction or something more
not sure if it will last or end before it even starts
but I'm willing
willing to take his hand and follow where ever he leads

wait
as long as where he leads is where I'm willing to follow
if he understands my need for friendship without sex
my need for honesty even when the truth hurts
and my need for trust because if  I'm with him that is truly where I want to be

So I like him
the way he smiles at me when our eyes meet
the way my skin flushes red when he holds my hand
the way I feel like a preteen when hes near..
that first crush that made me giggle and stare

but wait
Lets not get carried away
I like him but this could be over tomorrow
not sure how he feels if this is real
but I'm willing to open my mind to the possibility
of... maybe
Mieka No comment yet

Something

I'm sitting here..need to be studying... thinking about my life. I'm 27...it's just crazy how time flies. in less then 3 years I'll be 30. This is so not where where I saw my life being 10 years back. At 17 the world seem so different ..so new. lol But anyway this is not a sad down and out blog. it's just some thoughts. I look at older people around me and I always wonder how they got to the point that they are at now. My mom is 53 years old in all of my 27 years I haven't seen her do much of anything ... travel nowhere. How do you get to that place where hope ends and life simply begins. And yeah I know this is not how it is for everyone but I know so many people who just seem to be living life unhappy. my goal is to be happy no matter where I am .. who I'm with or what I'm doing. I want to be more then content with my life . I want to live. I want to laugh. I want to love. I don't want to ever be in a place in my life where my regrets are bigger then my accomplishment, more regrets then the moments that have made me happy. I don't want my life to just simply get away from me.
I feel like I need a new chapter another page in this story of life
Anyway ... I feel like I need something new right now. I don't know a new place.. new friend ... just something new.. I have no plans on leaving the old behind but...I ... just... need....Something.
Mieka No comment yet

....still fat

Ok yall I have been so freakin slacking with my diet. So tomorrow I'm going shopping and buying some healthy food and I'm so starting back walking everyday for an hour starting tomorrow. If you have read any of the blog you know that I love me and I am a very confident woman but yall I'm sick of being this fat ... I feel so different after this 50+ pounds that I have lost. I don't want to gain it back nor do I want to be content at this size... I want to be happy at a smaller size... I can so see the person I want to be ... shes waving at me.  I need this. I watched a show on tv tonight and this ex-fat lady said that after loosing all her weight she is now the person she has always been in her mind. And yall that is so me ... In my mind I'm just a happy free 27 year old lady. I don't think of myself as fat.... anyway I'm getting a lil sick of even typing about this I just want to be about it..... so therfore ...next
Mieka No comment yet

God's Will by Martina McBride *Lyrics*

Mieka No comment yet

lil dude

Feeling so freakin good about myself today ..... I saw this lil dude today and.. yall he is just so freaking H-O-T to meeee. oh lol but anyway.. don't even ask me what happened with that lil bit cause I really just don't know .. he walked over to me asked for my number .. he thought I was H-O-T ..lol... but anyway we talked a few times and ... well ummm I don't know it just didn't go anywhere but he was looking so oooh wee today that I may have to give it another go.. think I'ma text him now and see if he has the same number ...ummm to text or not to text...
Now that I think about it ... he was not forward enough for me I'm use to guys who are all in my face making sure I know that they like me... and another thing that made me "loose" his number... I felt that he was not being honest with me...and I just don't deal with lies.  ummm I don't kno yall we will se what happens ...
Mieka No comment yet

..


I want to write a poem that has nothing to do with ..you
Not your smile,..your laugh...
No...you
Nothing that mentions a thing about your sexy swag or deep dark eyes
I want my pen to flow across the paper like it use to
B4 there was a you and me
and late nights spent in blind bliss
B4 I started writing sappy pieces filled with impressions of you...
I want my words to stop hitting the paper like tears
Stop the sounds of agony they make when read aloud
I just want to write like I use to
 b4 your lies and mistreatment
poems that are just full of ME and empty of you
Mieka No comment yet

Still Fat...Still Pretty...

I have so not been in the blogging mood these last few days ... and I'm not really feeling it now but oh well I wanted to put up my pic ..lol.. I can't wait for class to start bloggers I really want to meet someone ... new. I didn't tell yall but how about I'm jobless again... Crazy right? Well I told you about the summer appendix issue.. well that whole thing lasted about two months and well I was new to my job. Good news is that my HR manager said that if I reapply she'll bring me back...NICE... I really need a job that I can hold on to until I get this school thing done and then its career time. So lets hope she 4real. Ok back to the someone new.. I don't necessarily mean I want a new man when I say someone new. I just mean new people. All my close friends live in different states except one. I just need new peeps to hang with..nothing wrong with the old but you know.. and if that something new happens to be a man who's tall dark and handsome ..then so much the better ..
Mieka No comment yet

Liegh Jones - Sick of Fools

  Love this song..listen to the words... I really am sick of fools
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