Whitney Houston - You Give Good Love
My all time Favorite. Whitney Houston's 1st Single 'You Give Good Love'. Gone at 48.
"you don't even have a man!"
So yes I am the one who called him but right now I'm asking myself WHY?
well ok I know why... My sister and I got into an argument about her boyfriend whom I have some issues with but I won't air out her laundry (as dirty...or as clean as it may be) and she basically told me to mind my own business and besides "You", meaning me "don't even have a man." This statement reminded me that there was an ex that I've intended to call for the last week or so. So I called with the intention of maybe setting up a hang out, chill out date and what do you know brother man is just as obnoxious as he was when we dated. How could I have forgotten his 'I'm always right and I know everything' manner. I am so kicking myself right now bloggers for letting my sisters comment make me feel like I 'needed' a relationship or a 'man' for even a second. I really do want a relationship BUT I want a healthy, secure, loving one. Just anything is not good enough for me and it shouldn't be good enough for anyone. *A piece of man is NOT better then no man. ...
well ok I know why... My sister and I got into an argument about her boyfriend whom I have some issues with but I won't air out her laundry (as dirty...or as clean as it may be) and she basically told me to mind my own business and besides "You", meaning me "don't even have a man." This statement reminded me that there was an ex that I've intended to call for the last week or so. So I called with the intention of maybe setting up a hang out, chill out date and what do you know brother man is just as obnoxious as he was when we dated. How could I have forgotten his 'I'm always right and I know everything' manner. I am so kicking myself right now bloggers for letting my sisters comment make me feel like I 'needed' a relationship or a 'man' for even a second. I really do want a relationship BUT I want a healthy, secure, loving one. Just anything is not good enough for me and it shouldn't be good enough for anyone. *A piece of man is NOT better then no man. ...
Goal 4
This year bloggers I want to be more.... me. I want to be more nice, more confident, more happy, more healthy, a better friend, aunt, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, girlfriend, daughter. I want to be more to the people who matter most. I also want to be more of a lady, more organized, and more prepared for the future. I want to be a better student, a better listener..... A better ME. I want to smile more, laugh more, enjoy each moment more. The month is almost over and I wanted to make sure that I had all my goals down so that I could start achieving them. Goal 4 ... Is simply to be MORE.
Goal 3
It's crazy how sometimes you get stuck. Stuck in the same hairstyle, hometown, style of dress. I'm stuck bloggers, but not in any of those ways. I'm stuck waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I almost feel like it's right around the corner, which makes it really hard to just let go, move forward, and be happy. I've been extra stressed lately. I worry about everything and everyone. Let me tell you, doing this gets old fast. A few years ago I lost some very important people in my life and after some reckless behavior to cover the pain I decided that having them in my life for even just a second was better then never knowing them. It took awhile for me to realize that but I did. .. and I learned to be happy even though sadness had touched my life and changed it forever. I say all that because even with something that huge happening I was able to learn that some days I would cry and feel sad about the loss but I also learned to just be happy in the moment. Right now I'm finding it hard to simply be happy in today. 2012 Goal 3 Be grateful for the moments, explore... everything, and live life to the fullest.
Goal 2
Do you ever look back on your romantic past and wish that you could have loved someone bloggers? I sometimes think of all my past relationships and wish that 'He' would have been that one that I was willing to settle with. There is no doubt that I can look back and wish that I had been wanted more loved more by at least one of my exs. I'm pretty sure that most women can do that, after all, many of us have at least one heart break in the past. I don't believe in the whole love at first sight thing. I just think that's stupid. Nor do I think that there is just one person out there somewhere for each of us. What I do believe is that each of us has to find someone who works for us and our life. I sometimes look back and wonder if I have already found that and just didn't know it.
Anyway bloggers Goal 2 this year is to be more open to the possibilities.
2012 Goal 1. Getting My Happy Back
So bloggers I haven't been my normally happy self lately. I don't know why or even when it happened I just know that right now I'm not .... me. I'm not sad or depressed or anything like that .... just not happy. I think a lot of it has to do with just being in a rut. I almost never go out lately and when I do it's with co workers or other people who I can't really just be myself around, (I miss my girls). Right now I wake up everyday go to work, go to class, and then it's home to bed. By the time the weekend roll around... which I mostly work on.... I just want to relax with a book ... in silence. no words no sound... just me and a novel. GOSH when did I become so freakin Lame.
Goal 1. this year is to get my happy back, smile more (and mean it) laugh more, and get rid of this lameness.
New laptop YAY!
And I am back in business. It's been a while since I blogged but I have so missed putting my thoughts down and simply writing about my day. Its a New Year yall and although 2011 was good I have hopes that 2012 will be awesome. I know that when a new year starts everyone is talking big about what they want and will do. My goal is to set realistic goals for my life. In my next blog I promise to get them down but right now it's 12 am and has been a long time since 7am. I am sleepy. (I have to work on my lameness this year.... Single, Young, Pretty and ...home. ... On a Sat.) Anyway I just had to come on and say something.
Mr. picture man
I want her picture painted
like they used to do before cameras
but you don't have to truly capture her appearance
I want you to capture her soul
etch it across canvas so that it lives on for others to see
Mr.picture man choose a bright color to that they can see the smiles hiding inside
and a dark one to showcase her pain
I want you to paint her
maybe a blue for the tears that she has shed in this life
maybe a green to show the life she leaves behind
it doesn't have to resemble a person
but instead maybe a ray of colors that resemble her mind
I want you to paint her the way she is
no camouflage
I want to see the anger the disappointments, sadness,... hurt I want to her as she is
pick a yellow to show the brightness she has brought us all
possibly a red to show frustration
Mr.picture man I want you to paint her
can you show her love and selflessness her indifference and selfishness
I want this picture to be of her
I want to sit for hours and glaze upon it knowing that it is of someone beautiful
someone human
Mr. picture man I want her memory captured, her pictured painted
like they used to do before cameras
but you don't have to truly capture her appearance
I want you to capture her soul
etch it across canvas so that it lives on for others to see
Mr.picture man choose a bright color to that they can see the smiles hiding inside
and a dark one to showcase her pain
I want you to paint her
maybe a blue for the tears that she has shed in this life
maybe a green to show the life she leaves behind
it doesn't have to resemble a person
but instead maybe a ray of colors that resemble her mind
I want you to paint her the way she is
no camouflage
I want to see the anger the disappointments, sadness,... hurt I want to her as she is
pick a yellow to show the brightness she has brought us all
possibly a red to show frustration
Mr.picture man I want you to paint her
can you show her love and selflessness her indifference and selfishness
I want this picture to be of her
I want to sit for hours and glaze upon it knowing that it is of someone beautiful
someone human
Mr. picture man I want her memory captured, her pictured painted
Fall/Hopeless
I love fall bloggers, the colors, the wind, night chills and warm days. I really do love it. Fall kinda makes me go love crazy as well. I always want to be in a relationship during this time of year. I have all these ideas of the perfect fall date, picnics in the park, walks through the zoo, car rids in the country. Unfortunately my relationships always head south right before this time of year... meaning dateless and single me. .. Maybe that's why I love the idea of fall love. Oh well maybe in the spring I can walk in the rain while holding his hand. *Hopeless Romantic
HI ...LONG TIME...and all that jazz
I haven't written in a while I know but between work and class I just don't really have the time to think much less blog. I have so missed just putting down my thoughts. So how am I? Well to be honest the summer was horrible for me all the way around... car trouble... hair trouble... fashion trouble ... I don't know something about 100 degree heat and no air does that to me BUT fall is here and I for one LOVE the fall. So new car check... hair experiments... check... and I'm working on the fashion. I am ready for... EVERYTHING. Still fat yall ... I'm always honest about that. Am I disappointed in me yeah BUT everyday is a new day to get better ... thinking about printing up an old friends pics or at least looking at them often to convince myself that its possible....Joining weight watchers soon, wish me luck. I imagine that WW is like AA for fat ppl..." Hello my name is Pamieka and I'm a foodaholic"
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