Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
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Happy Fathers Day!!


The dictionary has many definitions of the word FATHER
fa·ther
a. To acknowledge responsibility for.
b. To act or serve as a father.
c. A man who raises a child.
d. any male acting in a paternal capacity
Of course there are more but these are the definitions that describe my relationship with the word father

My father was strong, he was there was I was a small child
And he was there when I was not so small but yet still a child
He was there whenever I needed him to laugh and cry with me, there when I learned to cook, willing to taste my first cake (which was purple) :)
He taught me how to drive, was patient and willing (even though I was really bad at it)
He was my great uncle, not a relation that people first think of when the word father comes to mind, but he was mine. He taught me that men should be responsible and be there. I learned from him how to say I'm sorry when I'm wrong, to love even those who hurt me and to still laugh and smile even when the world is crazy and those you trust have let you down..
And although I'm sometimes less than nice it is my uncle who is responsible for the times that I am nice. He taught me how to be giving and to be kind
He was my father, my dad my papa and any other word to describe a man who takes care of a child, loves a child and teaches that child.

Miss you more everyday and yet I miss you EVERYDAY the same.
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Seven

The world goes on,
but I  will always remember,
and as days turn into weeks
and weeks into months that become years,
the pain of losing you still feels like yesterday. 



Year seven and my tears are still falling
my heart is still hurting
and I still miss you
thought about your laugh
and your smile today about your voice
                                                      and your gentle way


...missing you more than yesterday and yet missing you everyday the same.

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...

my heart pounds..the beats so loud I'm almost sure they can hear
my mind is filled to overflowing with ...everything
my eyes are closed.. hoping that I can shut out the reality of whats being said
hoping that when I open them today will be yesterday and that tomorrow never comes
and although I'm not at my end ever moment spent with you flash across my closed eyelids
every moment spent without you
this is not real... it can't be real when I open my eyes it will all be fine
you'll be here laughing talking about something random the way you do
* 1.... 2....3.. I'm going to open my eyes now
none of this ever happened... just like one of the books I read
their will be a happy ending for me
they're still here..why are they still hear
saying the same thing... why are their words the same
I can't breath, their is no air...panting for air.. I scream
none of this they hear none of this they see
I stand there calm tears slowly falling down my face
but in my head I've lost it
I just had a mental break down and where
roses used to be red they are now black and
the sky is now gray the sun blocked
life just changed for me..
Forever
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Day 12.....Oct. 23









they say time heal all wounds
but this cut bleeds daily
it's so deep that you can see within
and every time it begin to stitch
I remember
and the years fall away
months feel like minuets
and then
years feel like seconds
I miss you the way flowers miss the rain
slowly withering away
It'll be alright they said
but what do you do when alright never comes?
how do you cope when there is no going back?
and to move forward means leaving pieces of your heart behind?
I cry for you
tears fall from my eyes and run down my cheeks
I .... I miss you
there's a empty place inside that you use to fill
and my mind is consumed with only thoughts of you
I don't know how to...
to let time heal this ..
I don't know if..
time can heal this
No matter how long I wait
I won't hear you laugh again
I won't hear your voice.. again
tell me
somebody... tell me
How does time heal death.


Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one:-- My aunt told me about blogger and I liked the idea of it. I'm always writing down my feelings anyway so I said why not.