... 11/20/12



SEX ... 10/24/12

I miss sex bloggers, I really do. I miss touching a man's body and having him touch mine, and boy do I miss the kissing of.... well lets just say kissing lol. I don't want to go to far with this post. I miss having nice strong arms wrapped around me and the talking after the sex. In case you haven't caught on it has been a really long time since I had sex, in fact it has been years. Recently I had a conversation about sex with a guy and I almost found myself seriously thinking about the possibility of having sex again... and than I realized all the reasons I haven't had sex in years. I want more than just sex with someone whom I don't love. I want more than a fly by sexual encounter. I want more than just a sexual relationship. .. I deserve more. Whenever I tell a guy that I'm not sexually active they take it as a kind of dare, a challenge. They always think that they're going to be able to convince me to have sex. The one to 'get' it... wrong. There is no way that I'm going to allow myself to get involved with someone who only wants sex, someone who is not willing to simply get to know who I am. I don't want a relationship that's based on the physical. I want a relationship that is based on the heart.  All that being said bloggers I still really miss sex.

C.F.H. 10/23/06

I laughed today
thought about you and felt joy in my heart
got up early watched the sun rise
walked on the dew wet grass and picked a flower all while thinking of you

I remember the roughness of you hand
the loudness of your laugh
I remember you

cried tonight for you
it's amazing how nothing else hurts as much as the loss of you
how even as months turn into years I still miss you everyday just the same
and no matter how many tears fall there are still more yet to fall

I remember the sparkle in your eyes
the rumble of your voice
I... often think of you.

Get Cute Monday


Single girl...

As I have said before bloggers dating is hard. I'm dating right now, not any 1 special guy in fact not 1 guy at all... more like more than one. I'm not cheating or anything I'm simply dating. If one of them becomes more than simply a date than maybe I'll just date 1. A few months back I started to feel ... too single. I really just felt like I wasn't putting myself out there enough... and to be frank I started to simply miss hanging out with guys. So here I am bloggers dating. The hard thing with dating for me is that I simply don't believe the lines. I don't even want to hear them. I always simply want to go from the early morning text  "GM Beautiful" and the before bed time text of 'GN Sweetie' to the real conversations, the dreams, and life, and ... everything. The problem is that it seems that you have to go through the motions to get there. Another problem for me is the lies. I can't stand guys who won't stop saying things that aren't true. I tend to be really honest with men I just don't understand why they can't do the same for me... Anyway it's late... work tomorrow...date tomorrow, and than a drink with the girls.... hope he doesn't turn out to be psycho..but with my luck with men......


I'm 29 smarter than many, beautiful in my spirit, and kind in my soul. Am I the most intelligent? No. The sweetest? No.  Am I always right? .... NO. But who I am is someone who knows what I want, what I need, and what I deserve, and I am smart enough to know when those things aren't the same thing. At 20 there was alot that I was willing to accept from people.... At 25 a little less... and now both those times in my life are worlds away. I would rather be single than to be with someone who doesn't deserve ME. ... for everything that I am... fun, lame, crazy, mean, insecure, nice, selfish, honest, faithful, confident, selfless... ME. You NEVER have to like me but this is me, and I'm ok with that. I have overcome so many hurt feelings, so much self doubt that I am not at all willing to let any but the best in my life. Everyone else in the world should feel the same way. YOU are too good for drama, and too much for nonsense. YOU are a better person than to allow people who aren't good for you in your life!

I have been running into people who have made me rethink my past, my future and my present. I ran into an old friend who I'm not friends with anymore, a ex-boyfriend who at one time was a good friend and an old co-worker who is doing really well now and it just made me think bloggers...(I also had a run in with a crazy) about my life and me. Anyway ... Smile Still Bright.... Lets start this day again... the right way "Thank you God ... for EVERYTHING"


I need a new city. This one has lousy fishing.
fishing with my right hand throwing them back with my left
another one caught another one not good enough
Maybe its me and not the fish
my pole is too long... not long enough
Maybe I'm in the wrong river.
Maybe I need a lake.

Happy day bloggers
I so need a new job I am over the one I have. New plan of action fill out a new application every day until I'm somewhere else. Weight... do we even have to go there... lets not.. really people it's bad, maybe I'll have better news in a week. Found a new workout buddy I think this one is a keeper, we shall see. It is so hard to find someone who will actually workout .. not that I need a partner if I want this I can do it all by myself, but company is nice. Love update... read above... something is just not working for me there bloggers. I just want a honest cute, smart, tall, guy to spend some time with, get to know, get married to, have sex with, and have a baby with that's all ....where is he universe. Life update... sick of school but it is a mission I must complete, I need a new place, a fun-cation and than a vacation, and I need my friends to jump on the not lame, fun train.   *My smile is in place

Same day a little later
New plan II
I need to find a church bloggers. A for real church where people believe in GOD and aren't just there for show. A church where people are living everyday like it's Sunday and not drunk, cussing and partying up until it's time to go to church and than again after the sermon is over. 

All or Nothing

Dating is hard bloggers, really it is. Recently a friend of mine went out with this dude and she found herself questioning weather or not he was honest. Well at the time I didn't give it much thought because quite frankly I could care less if the dudes I have been dating lately are honest or not. (I haven't liked any of them beyond a few dates) So there was no wondering or asking myself 'Is this dude 4real?' Well I find myself thinking about my friend right now and how she feels about trusting men.
Relationships have not at all been easy or kind to me. I don't think that all men are going to cheat or lie but I do think that it is hard to determine if you are dating a honest guy. Right now I'm asking myself that question. When it comes to relationships and men I have learned to take everything at face value until I am shown otherwise. .. and believe me when I say it doesn't take much for me to see that a guy who looks to be a nice honest guy isn't. Another thing that I have learned bloggers is that sex makes it very difficult to see a lie coming or to recognize a cheater. It is so important to just get to know the person you're dating before even thinking about being intimate with them. It makes it easier to break up with them and so simple to leave when you find out he's not what he claims. I'm not giving advice with this blog I'm just reminding myself why I'm not in nor have been in a sexual relationship in years. It is so very easy to let yourself fall into lust but it's never worth it to give your all only to watch him walk away later.


No need for love
Unless it’s Mr. oh, Mr. Right
And only because
Mixin’ lust with love only mean a fight
‘Cuz there’ll be dues to pay
And most of all many sleepless nights
But that won't be today, no
Guess I’ll see ya, love, it’s been nice
Until then...

Still Fat... Still Pretty....Still ME

Somewhere along the way I lost my motivation but 2 days back in and I think that maybe I have found it again. I'm really hoping that I keep it. Trying to remember that as hard as it is to diet the reward will be wonderful..  
                                             Mission- Fat2Fit
                                             Goal: Healthy by 30


Just Me

Weight update...life update

So .... my weight is the same I have not lost at all in the last 3 months the good news is that I have not gained so I'm still at 50lbs gone. I'm still determined in fact I'm more determined. I'm right now recovering from an infection that just got crazy bad. I've been under the weather since the start of July but didn't know about the infection until mid July. This illness has made me more determined to loose weight because I don't think it would have been as bad if I was smaller in fact I'm almost sure of it.  As a type 2 diabetic it's harder for my body to fight off an illness  and I have no doubt that if I was at a healthier size I wouldn't be a diabetic at all..   Anyway bloggers that's whats going on

10 years

What were your dreams in high school? What are they now? I recently went to my 10 year HS reunion, and let me tell you bloggers life today is not at all what I thought it would be 10 years ago. I guess I had dreams of just being ... different. A different size, a different career .... a different me. But high school was a long time ago and the real world is nothing like sitting in your room dreaming. The real world is full of valleys, mud-hills and every once in a while mountains. In other words there's always something or someone that you have to go under or around or even right though and often it's messy. Sometimes I'm sad that my life aren't those dreams that I dreamed through my HS years. That I'm not a famous writer (despite my spelling and other English errors) or that I haven't traveled to an exotic land. Adulthood has a way of killing dreams. It's so easy as a child to close your eyes and image the world as your oyster but than childhood ends and life happens. Illness, bills, jobs, death.... Life happens, and in the mist of it dreams get lost. But I realize that I still have today and if GOD is willing than I have tomorrow as well. So what are my plans for the next 10 years? I don't know exactly but I know that I want to be happy and I know that I don't want to be anything different than me.... just more me


Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Langston Hughes

Fat Fight

SOooo I stopped WW... and working out for about 2 weeks. I am so sad about that because I gained and now I have to move backward. It is so hard to re-start a diet, but today was my first day back on and I did ok...not as well as I wanted to but I now have the ball rolling and once again I'm back to the fat fight. Sad I have to re-lose what I gained plus more to reach my next goal but happy because I know that I can do this.

Heel Envy (Hating)

I am so freakin hating on all thease high, freak 'em, heel wearing chicks. I can not wait until I drop another 50lbs b/c I am so doing the heel. I'm going to be 6'5 in them but oh well. I love sexy give it to me heels. lol The reason that I'm not into wearing them now is because I just think they are too much for me at my height and size. (Nothing agaist the big girls who are... hunnie more power to you
I am so hating on Ms. Naica in these wedge blue suede heels.

Happy Fathers Day!!

The dictionary has many definitions of the word FATHER
a. To acknowledge responsibility for.
b. To act or serve as a father.
c. A man who raises a child.
d. any male acting in a paternal capacity
Of course there are more but these are the definitions that describe my relationship with the word father

My father was strong, he was there was I was a small child
And he was there when I was not so small but yet still a child
He was there whenever I needed him to laugh and cry with me, there when I learned to cook, willing to taste my first cake (which was purple) :)
He taught me how to drive, was patient and willing (even though I was really bad at it)
He was my great uncle, not a relation that people first think of when the word father comes to mind, but he was mine. He taught me that men should be responsible and be there. I learned from him how to say I'm sorry when I'm wrong, to love even those who hurt me and to still laugh and smile even when the world is crazy and those you trust have let you down..
And although I'm sometimes less than nice it is my uncle who is responsible for the times that I am nice. He taught me how to be giving and to be kind
He was my father, my dad my papa and any other word to describe a man who takes care of a child, loves a child and teaches that child.

Miss you more everyday and yet I miss you EVERYDAY the same.


Everybody who have ever been on any type of diet knows that the numbers on a scale can either make you so happy you feel like crying or make you so depressed you cry. Well bloggers guess what? Really guess... Those numbers have made me beyond happy. 46LBS LOST that's right 4freakin6 pounds. I am so happy right now.... Still Fat but moving in the direction of fit. 4lbs more until I reach my 50lb 3 month goal. Let's get it!!!

Recycled ex

So I recently hung out with an ex and well I don't know if the single life is getting to me but I kinda was ummm feeling him? lol the crazy thing is that I was never that into him. I mean we dated for 6 months and the whole time I was just ....killing time. sad I know, but sometimes a girl needs to get flowers, go to dinner and a movie....With a Man (sorry bestie but you know). Lately I have been feeling more Ms. Mieka (33 lbs will do that) and I think that its the confidence more than anything but the dudes are in my face HARD and it's crazy to  me that I have looked to the past for  a date. I don't know bloggers I am definitely going to explore the possibility of an ex becoming a now.

Still Fat

I know I have no posted anything lately about living the fat life....SO.... ok so I went off WW and I'm just getting back into the swing of things. The good news is that I have not gained, my total loss is still 33lbs and I have a freaking waist line right now... It's been a while yall. I feel so good about me right now. The bad news is that I have not lost anything in the past 3weeks (namely b/c I haven't been doing right) and starting up again is hard. I'm not over eating but I know that I'm not in my point range either. So my 3month goal was 50lbs and my 3months are not over until June 4th so I sill have time to do what I need to. 20lbs in a month means that I can't at all go over my points and mother's day right around the corner too :( oh well I didn't go into this thinking it was going to be easy I went into this knowing it was going to be hard so lets get it!!

Freakin PMS

So I have went off the WW path again. SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DIET WHILE PMSing. Eating everything in sight right now. My over eating has always been emotional based and right now I feel fat, not pretty, fat, sad, did I say fat? Awwwww I have gained a freakin pound and that has made me even more moody. Not at all having a good week....
I may go get my hair done over the weekend...and my nails. Really hope that helps these mood swings and the not feeling pretty thing.
Looking up prevention methods for pms on Google because I need Help!

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) - Prevention

You cannot prevent premenstrual syndrome (PMS), but you can take measures to reduce your risk of having severe premenstrual symptoms by:
  • Taking daily calcium and vitamin B6 (50 mg to 100 mg). Calcium and vitamin B6 may help relieve PMS symptoms.
  • Getting regular exercise, which increases natural brain chemicals (endorphins) that reduce pain and provide a feeling of well-being.
  • Eating a balanced diet that helps keep your blood sugar levels stable. Eat small meals with complex carbohydrates, whole grains, protein, fruits, and vegetables. Avoid refined sugar, as well as excessive fats, salt, and alcohol.
  • Reducing stress with time management practices, enough rest, and relaxation techniques.
  • Limiting the amount of caffeine in your diet.
  • Quitting smoking, if you smoke.


Women are .... funny. I'm the kind of woman, I always try to be the kind of woman, who is kind to other women. I'm not at all afraid to give another woman a compliment, in fact I like to. I realized a long time ago that regardless of how pretty someone else may be, or how slim she still have insecurities. I have known skinny girls who thought they were too skinny, fat girls who hated being fat, dark skinned who wanted to be light skinned, women with straight dark, and thin hair who wanted thicker hair or light hair or curly hair. I have known some of the prettiest women who believed that they were not as smart as others or as good as other people. I say this because.... Women are funny. Yes her hair may be beautiful, her skin lovely but you never know how she feels about herself. Instead of whispering in a corner be KIND. Tell her that her bag is fly, her shoes on point. A woman who is confident in herself can give other women compliments. Talking about someone else or being less than nice to them for no reason is a sign of jealousy and insecurity. 

Fear Not My Child Helen Baylor

In myself I've failed the Lord
Then was afraid to try once more
The fire in my soul had fled
That's when Jesus came and said

My spirit, gives the strength you need
To raise you up and to succeed
And for vision through the night
I'll give these words of light

Fear not my child
For I'm with you always
and I feel all of your pain
And I see all of your tears
Fear not my child
For I'm gonna be with you always
I know how to take care of
what belongs to me

He said my child don't look behind
Discouragement is all you're gonna find
Don't watch the waves as they roll on the sea
But just focus your eyes on me

And I will make you strong and then
Your shattered courage I'm gonna mend
And if you fall if you fall and should get hurt
Remember these eternal words
Fear not my child don't worry bout nothin for I'm gonna be with you always I'm gonna walk with you I'm gonna talk with you
A few years ago my grandma gave me some advice. I had messed up in school and lost my pell she said "Meka everybody makes mistakes, just don't keep making the same ones. Now stop crying and go back to that school and get your lesson." She paid for me to go to school the next semester, I still have no idea where my mama got the money, but she did and she put it in my hand and sent me back to school. Anyway bloggers I told that story because I don't understand why people keep doing the same ole' thang over and over again. The results of your actions were bad the first time why go back and not do it just once but again and again ...and again. I have some people who are really close to me who just won't stop stupid behavior. I just don't get it.

The F word

Fat.... wait did you think I was talking about another F word... lol (I'm so Lame). Anyway whats the big deal with the word fat. I am a person who use the word fat quite often.I will use it to refer to myself and yeah sometimes to refer to my friends, my family and the skinny dude across the room who has just demolished 2 large pizzas by his self with no freaking help ( skinny fat people make me sick).  I have friends who hate when I call myself fat, they actually cringe when I say the word as if they are in pain, and than they'll get this sad look on their face and say something like "you're not fat", or "Don't say that about yourself". After this they will go into all the good things that I have to offer and all the while I'm standing their trying to find a way to make them feel better about ME calling MYSELF fat.

I don't have as much a problem with the word fat as others seem to have, maybe because this have always been me, maybe because I know that I am more than simply that one word. I'm Black, Tall, and have a big head, too but I'm not offended by any of  that. Why should I allow just one word determine who I am. There is so much more to me than just what people see. I'm smart, funny, silly, kind hearted, friendly and so many other awesome things. I came to terms with who I am (and who I'm not) a long time ago. When I look at myself in the mirror I realize that I'm fat but I also see in myself things that are so much more than simply that one word.  Don't be afraid of the F word people after all their are far worse words in the English language.

Living the Fat Life

So after 3 weeks and 23lbs I up and stopped WW. PMS is always hell for my diets. But I'm back to the books and following the plan because I'm really aware of how different I feel when I am eating healthier and following a plan that will get me to my goal. I have yet to reweigh myself after my outer fat side took over my inner fab side, because lets face it bloggers I am utterly terrified at how much I may have gained. Shaking in my boots over here, but in the next hour I will be going to the store to restock my fruit and veggies and when I get back straight to the scale I am going. So not ready for those numbers to stare back at me BUT it's my fault for living the fat life and forgetting the before 30 (gosh that number) goal.

I don't think so brotha man

"that ones to stupid to keep"

I've written quite a bit about relationships, love, and crazy dudes. Well I have to revisit the subject. I recently met a guy... gave him my number took his ... blah blah blah same old song and dance. Well after the first conversation I was almost certain that NOTHING was going to happen with that, he was very cute but lacking brain power. Knowing that I can sometimes be ummmm just a little selective and not easy to please when it comes to men, I decided to give him another chance. WHY BLOGGERS WHY? Well I know why, it's because I'm single and I know that I don't want to be this way forever. One day I want to revisit the land of "in love" and than (after the ring and all that jazz) I would love to revisit the land of sex. But back to Mr. ewwwww. To just shorten the story he wanted sex, lots of it and different varieties... WITH ME WHOM HE KNOWS NOT AT ALL. Yall I'm not being naive I know that men want sex but I'm just so over some of the nasty, stupid things men say. I am not willing to randomly 'hook' up with some unknown dude hoping that it will turn into a relationship. According to new research someone in America becomes infected with AIDS every 9 minutes. That is huge numbers. When a new guy starts to talk sex really early I can't get pass it EVER. If I ever talk to him again all I can think about is the fact that he wanted to sleep with me up front, no questions asked, and that he may be infected. Maybe this sounds a little crazy to some but when you know the rate that people are dying from STDs you know that it's a very real thing. ...  anyway on to the next guy and next date.....

Nameless husbands

Do husbands not have names? A few years ago when my friends started to marry off  they would refer to their husbands by name. Now husbands are simply ... husbands not Mike or David or Lawrence but simply 'my husband' Example,  "What are you doing today hun?' answer "My husband and I are going out."  Question, "Are you still up for this years trip?" answer 'Yes, but my husband is coming along" I don't get it bloggers, do men loose their names when they get married? I just want to scream "SAY HIS FREAKIN NAME.... I KNOW WHO HE IS TO YOU ALREADY!!" I really hope that I don't ever do this. Not sure if this is only the people I know, I hope so because I hate to think that people are doing this everywhere. People who have Nameless husbands are annoying.

to love

I don't know how to write about anything other then love
I try but my pen stops me
I know that theirs more than love
but love is all I know
Can't seem to let go of all that's right or wrong with love
even when I'm not in love
So I write
with no one in mind
no sweetheart who fills my heart
no broken pieces left behind
I just write to love

Ruben Studdard - (I'm Single)

Really feeeling this new Ruben.

"Girl when you gon' have some babies"

I HATE this question bloggers. I H-A-T-E it... and quit frankly I don't understand it. I'm 28 trrue, BUT I'm also UNMARRIED, still in school:( and I work. Please tell me when  I have the time to properly care for a child... not to mention that I'm broke. When people used to ask me this question (family, friends, ppl from school, strangers that I have never met EVER) I used to say 'When I get married.' Was this ever the wrong response. People quickly become offended when I say this....since most of them are single parents. They seem to feel like I am saying 'oooh you're bad' OR they think (most of the time) that I'm saying "I am so MUCH better than you." I don't feel this way at all, BUT try telling an offended person what YOUR statement means. So now I simply say one day or make a little joke, but this is my blog so I feel very free to say what I want... and what I want to say is 'STOP ASKING ME THAT CRAZY QUESTION!!' With no man in site that I am willing to commit my life to, WHY would I have a child. And in this you don't have to be married because he's always there either in memory or in presents because YOU have a child with him. I just really don't get it. A study done on people with children showed that over 50% of parents actually REGRET having their children. I'm sure that there are many reasons for this high number, maybe money and age that they conceived, but the study still shows that there are too many ppl just having kids without knowing what it will take to rise them. I don't want that to me and I DON'T want to be a single mother. I want the whole package. Now that doesn't mean that I think less of single moms/dads, my bestie is a single mom and I think she is super at it. She works full time, goes to school full time, pays for super high daycare and is a awesome parent to her daughter. I respect her. BUT being a single parent is not something I think you should TRY to become. I want it all for my babies ...if at all possible.
Studies also prove that children don't make people happier in fact many people become Less happy and that children with fathers are smarter, more successful, and have a better chance of building healthy relationships in their lifetime.


The world goes on,
but I  will always remember,
and as days turn into weeks
and weeks into months that become years,
the pain of losing you still feels like yesterday. 

Year seven and my tears are still falling
my heart is still hurting
and I still miss you
thought about your laugh
and your smile today about your voice
                                                      and your gentle way

...missing you more than yesterday and yet missing you everyday the same.

Spring Fever

I have never been man crazy, never felt like I needed a man to survive or to be happy but there are many people around me who feel this way. In the last 2 weeks I have had to listen to more 'I need a man' whining and heard more 'don't worry sweetheart you'll find him' said to me in almost two years. And really bloggers it is EVERYWHERE! My friends want a man and all the ones who have one think that they should help me 'find' one as if men are lost. And if one more member of my family remind me that I've been single for a WHILE by saying 'Why don't you call ------ and go out... Or '------ was a good man, nothings wrong with him' I'm going to start to scream. Why is it that people HATE to see someone else single. Even friends in unhappy marriages, or bad relationships seem to think that being single is a curse, I realize that 28 is not 21 but neither is it 51. I still have time to meet a man whom I can love and have 2.5 kids with. I really need a vacay away from the Spring Fever that is about to start..... before it hits me too.

Whitney Houston - You Give Good Love

My all time Favorite. Whitney Houston's 1st Single 'You Give Good Love'.   Gone at 48.

"you don't even have a man!"

So yes I am the one who called him but right now I'm asking myself WHY?
well ok  I know why... My sister and I got into an argument about her boyfriend whom I have some issues with but I won't air out her laundry (as dirty...or as clean as it may be) and she basically told me to mind my own business and besides "You", meaning me "don't even have a man." This statement reminded me that there was an ex that I've intended to call for the last week or so. So I called with the intention of maybe setting up a hang out, chill out date and what do you know brother man is just as obnoxious as he was when we dated. How could I have forgotten his 'I'm always right and I know everything' manner. I am so kicking myself right now bloggers for letting my sisters comment make me feel like I 'needed' a relationship or a 'man' for even a second. I really do want a relationship BUT I want a healthy, secure, loving one. Just anything is not good enough for me and it shouldn't be good enough for anyone. *A piece of man is NOT better then no man. ...

Goal 4

This year bloggers I want to be more.... me. I want to be more nice, more confident, more happy, more healthy, a better friend, aunt, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, girlfriend, daughter. I want to be more to the people who matter most. I also want to be more of a lady, more organized, and more prepared for the future. I want to be a better student, a better listener..... A better ME. I want to smile more, laugh more, enjoy each moment more. The month is almost over and I wanted to make sure that I had all my goals down so that I could start achieving them.  Goal 4 ... Is simply to be MORE.

Goal 3

It's crazy how sometimes you get stuck. Stuck in the same hairstyle, hometown, style of dress. I'm stuck bloggers, but not in any of those ways. I'm stuck waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I almost feel like it's right around the corner, which makes it really hard to just let go, move forward, and be happy. I've been extra stressed lately. I worry about everything and everyone. Let me tell you, doing this gets old fast. A few years ago I lost some very important people in my life and after some reckless behavior to cover the pain I decided that having them in my life for even just a second was better then never knowing them. It took awhile for me to realize that but I did. .. and I learned to be happy even though sadness had touched my life and changed it forever. I say all that because even with something that huge happening I was able to learn that some days I would cry and feel sad about the loss but I also learned to just be happy in the moment. Right now I'm finding it hard to simply be happy in today. 2012 Goal 3 Be grateful for the moments, explore... everything, and live life to the fullest.

Goal 2

Do you ever look back on your romantic past and wish that you could have loved someone bloggers? I sometimes think of all my past relationships and wish that 'He' would have been that one that I was willing to settle with. There is no doubt that I can look back and wish that I had been wanted more loved more by at least one of my exs. I'm pretty sure that most women can do that, after all, many of us have at least one heart break in the past. I don't believe in the whole love at first sight thing. I just think that's stupid. Nor do I think that there is just one person out there somewhere for each of us. What I do believe is that each of us has to find someone who works for us and our life. I sometimes look back and wonder if I have already found that and just didn't know it.
Anyway bloggers Goal 2 this year is to be more open to the possibilities.

2012 Goal 1. Getting My Happy Back

So bloggers I haven't been my normally happy self lately. I don't know why or even when it happened I just know that right now I'm not .... me. I'm not sad or depressed or anything like that .... just not happy. I think a lot of it has to do with just being in a rut. I almost never go out lately and when I do it's with co workers or other people who I can't really just be myself around, (I miss my girls). Right now I wake up everyday go to work, go to class, and then it's home to bed. By the time the weekend roll around... which I mostly work on.... I just want to relax with a book ... in silence. no words no sound... just me and a novel. GOSH when did I become so freakin Lame.
Goal 1. this year is to get my happy back, smile more (and mean it) laugh more, and get rid of this lameness.

New laptop YAY!

And I am back in business. It's been a while since I blogged but I have so missed putting my thoughts down and simply writing about my day. Its a New Year yall and although 2011 was good I have hopes that 2012 will be awesome. I know that when a new year starts everyone is talking big about what they want and will do. My goal is to set realistic goals for my life. In my next blog I promise to get them down but right now it's 12 am and has been a long time since 7am. I am sleepy. (I have to work on my lameness this year.... Single, Young, Pretty and ...home. ... On a Sat.) Anyway I just had to come on and say something.