Did I 4get to tell you that I no longer love you, don't feel as if I need you anymore.
Did I not tell you that my heart has moved on and in the place of you there is now me?
Tears no longer fall when I think of you and the storm that you left behind has passed.
I now smile when I think of you.
I no longer hate you and I now realize that I had to have a bad relationship to know just how blessed I will be when I experience a good relationship.
Did I forget to mention something? is that the reason you're calling?
Are you calling because you need to hear that I no longer love you, need to know how happy I find myself now that you are gone?
My smile is brighter then ever and my laugh is true, I no longer have to pretend that I don't miss you because somewhere down the line I did stop missing you.

Come To Me

I want to hold you if only for a few hours,
And I need you here with me for a lifetime,
The mystery man in my dreams
Come to me.
I dream of you every night,
And as sunshine conquers the darkness you vanish never to be seen again,
until I fall asleep once more.
Will you know me?
Will I know you, if we ever meet?
Come to me.
Sometimes I wake with my pillow wet,
With tears that have fallen from my eyes,
Because in my dream you went away.
I know that I love you although I don't even know your name
Where are you?
Who are you?
Come to me.
Make these dreams a reality.
Give me your love and, I will give you mine
Come to me be my love be my light.
© Pamieka Adams

loved you

The winter stepped in and took away my sun
Brought back my pain
The cloudless sky was no longer a reality
The rain like ice fell onto my body, into my heart
And long silent tears fall down my face
The flowers you once gave me have long past died and only weeds remain
You left and took my heart, mind, and soul with you
You left and now I almost hate you
Almost hate myself for allowing you inside my head, my heart, me
I almost can..t carry on
You almost killed me inside
I almost let you
Today the sun is back
Today there are new flowers that are blooming
Today I learned to live without you
Today I love me more then I lovED you.
© Pamieka Adams

miss him

Is it OK that I still miss him?
Sometimes I pick up the phone to call him and then I remember why I can't.
He no longer lives alone, he has a wife two kids that were suppose to be mine....
and a life that I'm not in.
I don't love him anymore,
I don't I really, really don't....
I've said those words so many times that I'm not sure if I'm tryin' to convince those around me or myself.
I should have moved on by now it's been years ...
well it was 'pose to be years
only he kept calling and I kept going until I was the one calling
and days became months and months became years of sex with no commitment,
years of sex with a man who wasn't mine in public anymore....
only mine in hotels...motels and sometimes at his house when she wasn't around......
I can picture the looks on your faces...
looks of scorn...and I can almost hear the thoughts in your minds that are becoming whispers that are not so soft
but I should tell you something else first before you continue to judge me.
He was mine first..... My first love, my first lover,
He was mine first,
and she was the whore... she was the one in hotels and motels and places unseen...
she was the one who was the other woman..
the one who didn't care that he had me...
before you start to cry out my name in disgust,
know that it was her who messed up my happily ever after first.
her who first did the wrong..does that make it OK?
No..but it should help you understand.
The pain that I have caused her is so much like what she caused me....
so am I sorry in that regard NO...
but I am sorry that I spent so much time on a man I can never have for all to see,
Sorry that I spent so much time in hotels, motels instead of home with a man who loved me,
And sorry that I spent so much of my time writing poems like this one that are not really poems at all but letters to him.

cry 4 you

A silent tear will fall down my face when ever I think of you,When ever I'm alone with no one else around I'll cry for you
I'll cry for the man you could have become if only...If only you had listened changed your mistakes into good choices
If only you had believed in yourself half as much as I believed in you
If only you had made good on your promises
Tonight I'l cry for you I'll wait until everything and everyone has fallen asleep
and with only the dark night to comfort me
I'l cry for you.
© Pamieka Adams

I Remember

The way you would hug me and how your laugh made me laugh..
I remember you daily.
The love you had for me and all you did for me...
I hold thoughts of you in my heart....
As a child I always thought that I didn't have a father
but as I became an adult I realized that I always did have one in you...
I remember .......
and I miss you......

A Letter

I like you... I'm just not sure if I know how to build somethin real...see I still remember what happed the last time I gave my heart...attempted to build something real. I don't want to bring ghosts from the past into something new....But I don't know how to move past the memories of how he hurt me.... And I don't want you to think that I'm still in love with him ... I don't it's just that it's really hard for me to trust again.... I'm not sure if I can handle another heartbreak not sure if I'll be able to fix the broken pieces again ....if my heart gets broken .....And yes I know that you're not him....I know that you are you and that you're not "like all the rest" but that doesn't help me any.... And even if I start something new with you how do I stop the pain from the past from interfering with our future..? I'm scared!!! So very scared that you wont be whats right for me .....even more scared that you will be, but I wont be whats right for you....... And VERY scared that in the time that it takes me to overcome my'll move on and leave me full of regret.


I know that you may not understand this
but I don't know how I feel about you and
I know that you are starting to like me
but you see I don't know if I will ever like you.....
not in the way you want me too
and I do believe that you are cool peeps but shit dude it's just not there for me....
I mean really it's not you its really me ...
I was in a relationship with dat dude so long that now I'm just taking time out to love me...
I don't want to hurt you but
I'm not there yet and to be honest I'm not sure if I will ever be ...
.with you.
So don't start to like me too much
and please don't fall in love
see I'm just having fun right now
and I won't tie mysellf down when I just got free...
understand .....

Let's just be

Let me hold you, love you, comfort you.. in my arms you don't have to worry about a thing, in my arms it's just you and me.... take my hand and let me lead you to our bedroom where the outside world doesn't matter it's just us ... we can start with a slow dance ... pull me in your arms and hold me tight ..
lets forget about work and everything that causes stress ....
I want to just be in your arms tonight remembering the first time I saw you fell in love with you the first time you made me laugh with one of your corny jokes that I have come to love...
The first time you kissed me, caressed me...
Lets just dance..
hold me close to you with no intention of letting me go ... the same way I hold you in my heart
... Baby lets just be ...

Mr. Love

Love must be a man A lying deceitful man cold in his purpose masterful in his actions Able to be soft and gentle but also hard and mean
Love must be a man because he hurts me time and time again Making me believe that this time it will be real Making me giggle and laugh, blush when a name is mentioned only to be so very unreal He often leaves me in the middle of the night sleepless and sad craving chocolate Only to reappear the next night and cause tears to fall, like rain onto the rain forest, down my cheeks He hurts me and yet continue to come back whispering in my ear "I can make you happy"Love has to be a man a irresponsible cavalier man He doesn't seem to care that I'm sad He promises me more only to give me little makes me laugh then makes me cry.......
Love must be a man
A wonderful, beautiful, man powerful in his nature masterful in his actions
Able to be strong yet gentle and caring
Love must be a man because he sets me a fire at only the thought of him
Leave me breathless with the hope that he's real And make me giggle, laugh, and blush when his name is mentioned He often wake me in the middle of the night longing to be touched by him
He makes my eyes overflow with tears of happiness and is the reason that I smile
He whisper things in my ear that makes me blush and treats me with care
Love has to a man a confident kind man He holds me when I'm sad He compliments me when I'm depressed makes me cry then makes me laugh....© Pamieka Adams