Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Mieka No comment yet

5/10/16

life goes on w/o you
slowly it seems but in reality no slower than when you were here
some moments change your life...loosing you changed mine
I'm not as care free w/o you
i don't laugh the same as I used to
tears are hard to find but need to fall
I'm... harder w/o you
not soft or kind
my laugh taste bitter
and I only laugh to find my tears

I don't have to say that I miss you
because they all know
they miss you too
I don't have to find anyone to share my pain
because left behind is a whole family who longs for you
we remember
 
Mieka No comment yet

to love

I don't know how to write about anything other then love
I try but my pen stops me
I know that theirs more than love
but love is all I know
Can't seem to let go of all that's right or wrong with love
even when I'm not in love
So I write
with no one in mind
no sweetheart who fills my heart
no broken pieces left behind
I just write to love
Mieka No comment yet

Mr. picture man

I want her picture painted
like they used to do before cameras
but you don't have to truly capture her appearance
I want you to capture her soul
etch it across canvas so that it lives on for others to see
Mr.picture man choose a bright color to that they can see the smiles hiding inside
and a dark one to showcase her pain
I want you to paint her
maybe a blue for the tears that she has shed in this life
maybe a green to show the life she leaves behind
it doesn't have to resemble a person
but instead maybe a ray of colors that resemble her mind
I want you to paint her the way she is
no camouflage
I want to see the anger the disappointments, sadness,... hurt I want to her as she is
pick a yellow to show the brightness she has brought us all
possibly a red to show frustration
Mr.picture man I want you to paint her
can you show her love and selflessness her indifference and selfishness
I want this picture to be of her
I want to sit for hours and glaze upon it knowing that it is of someone beautiful
someone human
Mr. picture man I want her memory captured, her pictured painted



Mieka No comment yet

...


I can't breathe when you're here
I loose my breath when you come around ...panting and unable to use words correctly because all that I want to say to you gets lost somewhere between my brain and my mouth I see only black when I see you because the anger that caused me to see red has gone so deep that I only see a dark void where you stood empty of feelings and emotions you make me sick my stomach begins to hurt at the mention of ya name my head begins to bang and my okay or happy day turns into one filled with pain... and yet I would never want to hurt you. see when I look at you I still see that little girl you used to be. So full of hope and laughter, so full of love ... and I miss that want that back not just for me but for you ... for these new lives that you have brought into the world.
I remember you before him... before you turned into her, before when your heart was filled with more than this one nothing ass....male. What happened to you? When did you become this insecure woman who needs a man to define you? when did simply being you stop being enough.
I hate the way I feel when I'm near you. I hate how you put my emotions in a spin of love,hate and indifference. I don't know what to say to you anymore because your thoughts are no loner just yours they are his. His favorite color is now yours, his habits are yours... his disloyalty is yours. I no longer believe in your promises... or your ability to care for anyone but him you have become her and just like her everything else and everyone else comes 3rd to his needs. I can't talk when you're near the tears that I refuse to let fall clog up my throat. The sadness of knowing that you will never change takes my voice.
Mieka No comment yet

Day 12.....Oct. 23









they say time heal all wounds
but this cut bleeds daily
it's so deep that you can see within
and every time it begin to stitch
I remember
and the years fall away
months feel like minuets
and then
years feel like seconds
I miss you the way flowers miss the rain
slowly withering away
It'll be alright they said
but what do you do when alright never comes?
how do you cope when there is no going back?
and to move forward means leaving pieces of your heart behind?
I cry for you
tears fall from my eyes and run down my cheeks
I .... I miss you
there's a empty place inside that you use to fill
and my mind is consumed with only thoughts of you
I don't know how to...
to let time heal this ..
I don't know if..
time can heal this
No matter how long I wait
I won't hear you laugh again
I won't hear your voice.. again
tell me
somebody... tell me
How does time heal death.


Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one:-- My aunt told me about blogger and I liked the idea of it. I'm always writing down my feelings anyway so I said why not.
Mieka 1 comment

irritated


I feel heavy weighed down by ..what I don't know but I need... to release
remove this weight from my chest this chip off my shoulder and just let go..
pour it all out onto a sheet of paper
fill a notebook up with ink
I need... I need...... to.... write
make my words cry so that my eyes don't have to
empty my heart of misery so happiness can take it's place
I need to just feel something different
then what I feel right now.
I need to ... feel..free
Let go of things ... people that don't matter to me
just unleash
My mind is racing...stressing
awwwwww
can't take this
looking all around for my pen
I need ... I need my pen
got to get this out
My frustration seems boundless
and if I don't write it in a verse
I'ma let go on her face
why is she talking
Ooooh I need to write
I feel confused, angry, sad
and I can't seem to make any of it go away
I just need ... to put it all on paper
I always feel better after I write
I feel better after I write
after it's all down the world feels right
I have to surrender myself to words
submit to the verse
I need to..write
Mieka No comment yet

can I read to you


Some ladies dance a dance of temptation
rapped in silk that flows as they slowly move to a beat only their lover can hear
Some women sing songs by Luther
In a pretty bird like voice as their significant others listens
and some simply use their eyes to hypnotize
their bodies to mesmerize
But I want to read to you
speak this poem slowly ... softly to you
Use my voice to seduce you
My words will enchant you
warming your body and speeding your pulse
Send out an invitation just for you
Some women giggle in charming ways
others pose in model stances
Some use the whiteness of their smiles
all just to draw him closer
But I want to read to you
Captivate you with the intelligence of my words
Excite you with the visions they bring to mind
you and me not just bodies combined but minds intertwined
I want to read to you
Can I.... read to you
speak this verse and fascinate you
make a rhyme that will entice you
My composition so unique that it touches you
Some women play coy
bat their eyes and blush
But me... *smile*
I just want to read to you
Mieka No comment yet

..

I laughed today
thought about you and felt joy in my heart
got up early watched the sun rise
walked on the dew wet grass and picked a flower all while thinking of you

I remember the roughness of you hand
the loudness of your laugh
I remember you

cried tonight for you
it's amazing how nothing else hurts as much as the loss of you
how even as months turn into years I still miss you everyday just the same
and no matter how many tears fall there are still more yet to fall

I remember the sparkle in your eyes
the rumble of your voice
I... often think of you.
Mieka No comment yet

..


I want to write a poem that has nothing to do with ..you
Not your smile,..your laugh...
No...you
Nothing that mentions a thing about your sexy swag or deep dark eyes
I want my pen to flow across the paper like it use to
B4 there was a you and me
and late nights spent in blind bliss
B4 I started writing sappy pieces filled with impressions of you...
I want my words to stop hitting the paper like tears
Stop the sounds of agony they make when read aloud
I just want to write like I use to
 b4 your lies and mistreatment
poems that are just full of ME and empty of you
Mieka No comment yet

disillusioned

... but ...but he said he loved me
looked me in the eyes and told me so
sent me cards and flowers with the words written
he...you...love me
Laid beside me and told me so
loved my body and then said the words
and even though he...you have she
you really want me
I'm special
I'm for you
we've never shared a sunrise
but we've seen the moon countless times
you...love me
kissed me oh so sweetly on you way out the door
... and told me so
you...need me
I make you happy
...the way she doesn't
You're going to be just mine soon
.... you told me
looked me in the eyes, gently touched me
...said you loved me
it wasn't all a lie
couldn't all be a lie
... not to me
just to her
you...love me
Mieka No comment yet

..and he's married/stupid

I wont lie I kinda... ummm love it when he whispers in my ear
and on those rainy nights ... when lighting is rolling across the sky
his body ignites flames within me
\and his arms comforts me
His voice yall...ooohum his voice
my body warms when he speaks
he is...not mine
He belongs to she
and on most nights its her he lay with
but he loves me
told me he loved me
looked in my eyes sincerely and said the words
he opens my door, send me flowers
and every night b4 bed he calls
...well except those night when
he has she
But he loves me
ran his hands down my face oh so gently
and he said the words to me
His smile makes me smile
and when he grabs my hand
and pull my close... girrrrrl
but he's not ....mine
I'm not number 1 or even number 2
But he loves me he told me so
calls me on the phone just to tell me so
he has she but maybe not for long
I hope ...not... for long
told me he loves me more
wants me more
he's gon be with me see he loves me.
Mieka No comment yet

....

and you pull me back in
every time I get away
there you go
saying those sweet things like you often do
making me forget your assholeish ways
your arrogant ways
and ... I ....remember

and here it comes
the tingles I used to feel
the catching of my breath
and the nervousness
just ...like ...before
wanting you
even though I shouldn't
I know I shouldn't
and yet I do

and then you smile
and I know
that I never stopped
couldn't have stopped
because it wouldn't happen this quickly
just like the first time

I saw you
you saw me
we ... became ...us
how?

should be done
want to be done
but.... you
..... make me ....smile
make me forget
just how bad it can  get
make me remember your kiss

and I'm back
with you
you pulled me in
Mieka No comment yet
never asked you to love me
didn't ask you to want me or miss me when I went away
didn't ask you for anything

I didn't want to love you
didn't want my hart to skip or pause when you came around
I didn't want to want you
and yet I do

Should have asked you to love me
Mieka No comment yet

It's not going to work

I wonder... do you really see me. When you look at ME is it really me you see or are you only seeing what you wish to? Do you even care to see the real me? Do I matter to you? These questions keep flying though my head day in and out ..it's all I can think of. Do you know me? ......You can't. You say you love me and yet I know that it's not possible for you to. You have no idea what lies beneath this wall that I keep up. No idea whats hiding behind my eyes. And frankly I'm not willing to show you. See I don't love you either. Unlike you I know that I don't know you, I can see that there is something dark in you larking beneath the surface, behind your smiles and your laughs. I don't know the real you but I do understand secrets. And you sir have secrets. The softness that you you put in your voice when you are talking to others may fool them but it's not fooling me. I see the you that you keep a tight leash on. See the shadows in your glaze. No.... I don't love you and I know right now that I never will.
Mieka No comment yet

Move on


The rain stooped today and the sun came out bright and free the clouds moved out of the way and a rainbow appeared as if just for me. I no longer cry at the sound of your name or become dazed when I think of you The time of our love is now over and I feel that I can move on without you So I'll remove all the old pictures of us together Out the house and out of my mind And I'll stop wondering why you chose her over me For today is a new day and its time to move on.

Mieka No comment yet

Stopped

Did I 4get to tell you that I no longer love you, don't feel as if I need you anymore.
Did I not tell you that my heart has moved on and in the place of you there is now me?
Tears no longer fall when I think of you and the storm that you left behind has passed.
I now smile when I think of you.
I no longer hate you and I now realize that I had to have a bad relationship to know just how blessed I will be when I experience a good relationship.
Did I forget to mention something? is that the reason you're calling?
Are you calling because you need to hear that I no longer love you, need to know how happy I find myself now that you are gone?
My smile is brighter then ever and my laugh is true, I no longer have to pretend that I don't miss you because somewhere down the line I did stop missing you.
Mieka No comment yet

Come To Me


I want to hold you if only for a few hours,
And I need you here with me for a lifetime,
The mystery man in my dreams
Come to me.
I dream of you every night,
And as sunshine conquers the darkness you vanish never to be seen again,
until I fall asleep once more.
Will you know me?
Will I know you, if we ever meet?
Come to me.
Sometimes I wake with my pillow wet,
With tears that have fallen from my eyes,
Because in my dream you went away.
I know that I love you although I don't even know your name
Where are you?
Who are you?
Come to me.
Make these dreams a reality.
Give me your love and, I will give you mine
Come to me be my love be my light.
© Pamieka Adams
Mieka No comment yet

loved you

The winter stepped in and took away my sun
Brought back my pain
The cloudless sky was no longer a reality
The rain like ice fell onto my body, into my heart
And long silent tears fall down my face
The flowers you once gave me have long past died and only weeds remain
You left and took my heart, mind, and soul with you
You left and now I almost hate you
Almost hate myself for allowing you inside my head, my heart, me
I almost can..t carry on
You almost killed me inside
I almost let you
Almost....
Today the sun is back
Today there are new flowers that are blooming
Today I learned to live without you
Today I love me more then I lovED you.
© Pamieka Adams
Mieka No comment yet

miss him

Is it OK that I still miss him?
Sometimes I pick up the phone to call him and then I remember why I can't.
He no longer lives alone, he has a wife two kids that were suppose to be mine....
and a life that I'm not in.
I don't love him anymore,
I don't I really, really don't....
I've said those words so many times that I'm not sure if I'm tryin' to convince those around me or myself.
I should have moved on by now it's been years ...
well it was 'pose to be years
only he kept calling and I kept going until I was the one calling
and days became months and months became years of sex with no commitment,
years of sex with a man who wasn't mine in public anymore....
only mine in hotels...motels and sometimes at his house when she wasn't around......
I can picture the looks on your faces...
looks of scorn...and I can almost hear the thoughts in your minds that are becoming whispers that are not so soft
"Whore"
"Slut"......
but I should tell you something else first before you continue to judge me.
He was mine first..... My first love, my first lover,
MY....My....my...
He was mine first,
and she was the whore... she was the one in hotels and motels and places unseen...
she was the one who was the other woman..
the one who didn't care that he had me...
before you start to cry out my name in disgust,
know that it was her who messed up my happily ever after first.
her who first did the wrong..does that make it OK?
No..but it should help you understand.
The pain that I have caused her is so much like what she caused me....
so am I sorry in that regard NO...
but I am sorry that I spent so much time on a man I can never have for all to see,
Sorry that I spent so much time in hotels, motels instead of home with a man who loved me,
And sorry that I spent so much of my time writing poems like this one that are not really poems at all but letters to him.
Mieka No comment yet

cry 4 you

A silent tear will fall down my face when ever I think of you,When ever I'm alone with no one else around I'll cry for you
I'll cry for the man you could have become if only...If only you had listened changed your mistakes into good choices
If only you had believed in yourself half as much as I believed in you
If only you had made good on your promises
Tonight I'l cry for you I'll wait until everything and everyone has fallen asleep
and with only the dark night to comfort me
I'l cry for you.
© Pamieka Adams
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