Showing posts with label writings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writings. Show all posts
Mieka No comment yet

Day 12.....Oct. 23









they say time heal all wounds
but this cut bleeds daily
it's so deep that you can see within
and every time it begin to stitch
I remember
and the years fall away
months feel like minuets
and then
years feel like seconds
I miss you the way flowers miss the rain
slowly withering away
It'll be alright they said
but what do you do when alright never comes?
how do you cope when there is no going back?
and to move forward means leaving pieces of your heart behind?
I cry for you
tears fall from my eyes and run down my cheeks
I .... I miss you
there's a empty place inside that you use to fill
and my mind is consumed with only thoughts of you
I don't know how to...
to let time heal this ..
I don't know if..
time can heal this
No matter how long I wait
I won't hear you laugh again
I won't hear your voice.. again
tell me
somebody... tell me
How does time heal death.


Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one:-- My aunt told me about blogger and I liked the idea of it. I'm always writing down my feelings anyway so I said why not.
Mieka 1 comment

irritated


I feel heavy weighed down by ..what I don't know but I need... to release
remove this weight from my chest this chip off my shoulder and just let go..
pour it all out onto a sheet of paper
fill a notebook up with ink
I need... I need...... to.... write
make my words cry so that my eyes don't have to
empty my heart of misery so happiness can take it's place
I need to just feel something different
then what I feel right now.
I need to ... feel..free
Let go of things ... people that don't matter to me
just unleash
My mind is racing...stressing
awwwwww
can't take this
looking all around for my pen
I need ... I need my pen
got to get this out
My frustration seems boundless
and if I don't write it in a verse
I'ma let go on her face
why is she talking
Ooooh I need to write
I feel confused, angry, sad
and I can't seem to make any of it go away
I just need ... to put it all on paper
I always feel better after I write
I feel better after I write
after it's all down the world feels right
I have to surrender myself to words
submit to the verse
I need to..write
Mieka No comment yet

can I read to you


Some ladies dance a dance of temptation
rapped in silk that flows as they slowly move to a beat only their lover can hear
Some women sing songs by Luther
In a pretty bird like voice as their significant others listens
and some simply use their eyes to hypnotize
their bodies to mesmerize
But I want to read to you
speak this poem slowly ... softly to you
Use my voice to seduce you
My words will enchant you
warming your body and speeding your pulse
Send out an invitation just for you
Some women giggle in charming ways
others pose in model stances
Some use the whiteness of their smiles
all just to draw him closer
But I want to read to you
Captivate you with the intelligence of my words
Excite you with the visions they bring to mind
you and me not just bodies combined but minds intertwined
I want to read to you
Can I.... read to you
speak this verse and fascinate you
make a rhyme that will entice you
My composition so unique that it touches you
Some women play coy
bat their eyes and blush
But me... *smile*
I just want to read to you
Mieka No comment yet

..


I want to write a poem that has nothing to do with ..you
Not your smile,..your laugh...
No...you
Nothing that mentions a thing about your sexy swag or deep dark eyes
I want my pen to flow across the paper like it use to
B4 there was a you and me
and late nights spent in blind bliss
B4 I started writing sappy pieces filled with impressions of you...
I want my words to stop hitting the paper like tears
Stop the sounds of agony they make when read aloud
I just want to write like I use to
 b4 your lies and mistreatment
poems that are just full of ME and empty of you
Mieka No comment yet

disillusioned

... but ...but he said he loved me
looked me in the eyes and told me so
sent me cards and flowers with the words written
he...you...love me
Laid beside me and told me so
loved my body and then said the words
and even though he...you have she
you really want me
I'm special
I'm for you
we've never shared a sunrise
but we've seen the moon countless times
you...love me
kissed me oh so sweetly on you way out the door
... and told me so
you...need me
I make you happy
...the way she doesn't
You're going to be just mine soon
.... you told me
looked me in the eyes, gently touched me
...said you loved me
it wasn't all a lie
couldn't all be a lie
... not to me
just to her
you...love me
Mieka No comment yet

..and he's married/stupid

I wont lie I kinda... ummm love it when he whispers in my ear
and on those rainy nights ... when lighting is rolling across the sky
his body ignites flames within me
\and his arms comforts me
His voice yall...ooohum his voice
my body warms when he speaks
he is...not mine
He belongs to she
and on most nights its her he lay with
but he loves me
told me he loved me
looked in my eyes sincerely and said the words
he opens my door, send me flowers
and every night b4 bed he calls
...well except those night when
he has she
But he loves me
ran his hands down my face oh so gently
and he said the words to me
His smile makes me smile
and when he grabs my hand
and pull my close... girrrrrl
but he's not ....mine
I'm not number 1 or even number 2
But he loves me he told me so
calls me on the phone just to tell me so
he has she but maybe not for long
I hope ...not... for long
told me he loves me more
wants me more
he's gon be with me see he loves me.
Mieka No comment yet

It's not going to work

I wonder... do you really see me. When you look at ME is it really me you see or are you only seeing what you wish to? Do you even care to see the real me? Do I matter to you? These questions keep flying though my head day in and out ..it's all I can think of. Do you know me? ......You can't. You say you love me and yet I know that it's not possible for you to. You have no idea what lies beneath this wall that I keep up. No idea whats hiding behind my eyes. And frankly I'm not willing to show you. See I don't love you either. Unlike you I know that I don't know you, I can see that there is something dark in you larking beneath the surface, behind your smiles and your laughs. I don't know the real you but I do understand secrets. And you sir have secrets. The softness that you you put in your voice when you are talking to others may fool them but it's not fooling me. I see the you that you keep a tight leash on. See the shadows in your glaze. No.... I don't love you and I know right now that I never will.
Mieka No comment yet

u


So I thought of you today. Memories of you made me smile today. And I know that it will never be like it use to be can never be like it use to be but today I missed you . Remember that time that we played the day away dancing to our own music...your arms around me holding me your eyes shining bright with love for me. I remember and I miss that.
Mieka No comment yet

....??


I wish I knew you. Tall chocolate skin and pretty white smile, a huge loud laugh and dark shiny eyes, I wish you knew me. Sometimes I see you and I know that you're all I want in a man. My future I can see with you. Every morning I want to wake up in your arms, see your face... and smile. I want to know that you love me. I promise that you'll love me. I'm everything that you want I know it and if their are some things that can be changed... we'll work on it but I know that you'll love me just for me you won't care about some of the things that I stand in the mirror antagonising over for hours in fact it will be those things that you love most about me. I'm not saying that loving me will be easy because I'm sure that it wont be. I'll make you work for my love but once you have it, my love will be yours forever. And I'm not saying that you will never get mad at me because I'm sure you will but I promise that the make ups will be worth the arguments. I promise that their is nothing we can't work out and that at the end of everyday you will be glad that you made me your wife. I will be your everything and you will be mine ... except for those times when I need my space (which is often) and those times yo need your (which I hope is often) I won't premise that we'll never fight about stupid things because we will but I will promise that we will laugh about it latter, I am the Lady that you need, the one who you can love and you are the man for me ... believe me. I wish I knew you, tall chocolate skin and pretty white smile, a huge loud laugh and shiny dark eyes I wish I knew you. Sometimes I see you and I know that you're all I want in a man but then I wake up before I can clearly see your profile ... I wish I knew you


picture from photobucket
Mieka No comment yet

miss you




so.....I miss you today...Dreamed of you last night and it was almost like you were still here. I could see the reddish brown color of your skin and your big smile that use to light up your whole face. And in this dream I could see your white head of hair.... it was a dream about the good times before the cancer and the kemo. We were in the car going... :), I don't no where.. Probably you just taking me to shop for a book or something that I wanted.... because that was so like you. ... We were together just you and me on a pretty spring day riding down the street in that old blue car that you loved so much. Just you and me. I could almost here your laugh, so loud and free so... you, hear you saying my name again. I woke up before the end of the dream and for about an hour I just laid their in bed with my eyes close hoping for another view of you....Man I miss you today so close to spring.. miss seeing you sitting outside in the yard, playing with some ole' wondering dog looking for a home, miss you dancing the jig and telling me stories about your childhood...I really just........miss you

Mieka No comment yet

I Remember



The way you would hug me and how your laugh made me laugh..
I remember you daily.
The love you had for me and all you did for me...
I hold thoughts of you in my heart....
As a child I always thought that I didn't have a father
but as I became an adult I realized that I always did have one in you...
I remember .......
and I miss you......
Mieka No comment yet

.......please

I know that you may not understand this
but I don't know how I feel about you and
I know that you are starting to like me
but you see I don't know if I will ever like you.....
not in the way you want me too
and I do believe that you are cool peeps but shit dude it's just not there for me....
I mean really it's not you its really me ...
I was in a relationship with dat dude so long that now I'm just taking time out to love me...
I don't want to hurt you but
I'm not there yet and to be honest I'm not sure if I will ever be ...
.with you.
So don't start to like me too much
and please don't fall in love
see I'm just having fun right now
and I won't tie mysellf down when I just got free...
understand .....
PLEASE!!!!
Mieka No comment yet

.....

I miss my ex so much right now...not all the b.s. that he put me though or the damn lies that he tended to tell me I miss his voice and his touch. I miss the way that he made me feel beautiful on my crazy days and the way he could always make me laugh. I miss having him as my best friend....... I miss the way he would make me forget the fact that I was sad by doing something stupid..(smile).. and I really miss telling him about my day. I'm not in love with him anymore I just really ,miss his company. Sometimes after a date with a new lil dude I pick up the phone to call him the minute that I walk though the door... I really do miss him some times..... Don't get me wrong I don't want him back but I do miss his friendship. And since I'm being really honest I admit that I do kinda....ok really.... miss having his arms around me. I have yet to fall as hard for anyone as I did for him and I really just want to know when My Mr. Right is going to get hear because I am so damn tired of the Mr. Right Nows who are all Mr. Wrongs.... Where is my Man????? I want a meaningful relationship and I don't understand why it's taking me so very long to find one that's right.
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