And another one bites the dust

I know I just did a single blog but I got to go back there.
I received a text over the weekend from one of my last single girlfriends... She's getting FREAKIN married! Her guy proposed to her this weekend. Know how you're really happy for someone else but get really sad for yourself? Well that was me the moment I read that text. Now people don't get it twisted I loved my friend, I want whats best for her and I know how much she wants this. So I was more than a little happy for her but I almost started crying for me. It's really hard being one of the only non-married girls (in ya group) left when you been dreaming of a wedding, love, babies, and all the rest all your life. I think one of the reasons that being single is so hard for me right now is because 2 years ago ... shoot even 1 year ago I was doing the serial dating thang. I was dating at least 4 dudes back than, but right now I'm not dating anyone and quite frankly I'm so sick of all the BS that dudes sometimes let fall from their lips. I have 2 very big issues when it comes to finding a mate and dating. 1. I find that I'm just not the into the guy. I don't like his personality, his life choices, and simply don't want to be in his presence for long periods of time much less all my freakin life. 2. They want the cookie. Sorry not gon happen (even thought I Really...REALLY miss sex) I decides a while ago that I was done with giving my all to a dude who just wasn't worth it ,,, besides at this point I would hate to have waited years for some pointless BAD sex... I may just stab the dude lol... no really.
So after hearing this I was at the point of going to get me a drink .. well a couple (which I don't do anymore... not since my early 20's) when I just had to shake myself. OK I'm not freakin married SO what. At 27 I like who I am. I know who I am, what I want, and what I deserve. For a while I was wondering if maybe I had made some bad decisions where relationships are concerned, but I believe that right now I am where I need to be and if that is single then oh well .. Now, know that I still want this oh so grand man but I realize that either I have not met him yet or the guys I know have yet to become the man I need them to be in order to be my forever (or I have yet to become his forever). So right not I have pulled myself back (again) and I'm ok... It has to be better to wait for Mr. Right who will make me happy...angry...sad... fuss.. laugh .. but mostly happy (I'm not delusional) than it is to settle for Mr. right now who will make me sad...cry, laugh, happy for a while, but mostly Sad and Disappointed.


It's been a while since I worte a Fat blog... Well I'm still fat lol... and pretty. When I was growing up my grandma used to say..not simply to me but she just used to say "You can eat yourself ugly" I am a firm believer in this. Have you ever seen an ok looking fat person and thought to yourself 'She/He would be so pretty/handsome if he/she lost some weight?' Well I have. I haven't reached what I call fat/ugly but I do believe that I would be much prettier if I was smaller... In fact I know that I would. This summer I lost 60lbs, when I go back and look at those pictures I realize that what my grandma used to say is true you really can eat yourself out of good looks. So how am I? Fat and pretty BUT not as pretty as I could be.

Soul Fest 2011 - New Orleans

"everyone dies but not everone lives" Drake


Ok bloggers every once in a while I have to pull myself back. I was just talking to an old friend of mine, we dated for a short time about four years ago. Every few months I call him and talk a lil crazy... you know "So when we going get together" just joking. Well we didn't work out four years ago because I ended things. I just didn't think we would make it long term. I thought we were better friends and since sex wasn't apart of our relationship it was easy to make the friend transition. Every so often I ask myself if I made the right decision. After all 30 is getting closer everyday and I'm still not married and holding babies. It can be kinda scary when everyone around you is tying the knot and getting pregnant and you're not. Well this guy and I chatted for a while and we talked about his girlfriend (just what they did for her b-day), and I had to stop myself from flirting. Crazy I know, the dude is with someone! (No single female friends for my man) I know that he and I make better friends, but this single thing ALMOST had me tripping. Luckily I caught myself. I'm not that scandalous.
I don't think I have one single girlfriend right now. The closest thing I have to single girlfriends are 2 friends who are both in relationships; one is living with her boyfriend (I hate the word boyfriend, I just don't think it should be used after a certain age) and the other  has been in an off again on again relationship for years. So it's just me bloggers. Dating guys that I find lacking, being approached by losers, and SINGLE. The only good thing about being single is knowing that I haven't made a mistake by tying myself to someone I can no longer stand to be around. ...But to be honest this single thing is starting to get old.

Hair Growth

I have been natural for 6 months now. Natural Hair is defined as, unprocessed hair that has not been chemically altered in texture or color. This journey has been very hard for me because being natural is not as simple as getting a perm. When I first did this I was just thinking that I wouldn't get a perm and that would be it. Bam! I'm Natural.  It wasn't that simple.In the 6 months that I have been natural I have spent more money on my hair than I did in more than a year of having  permed hair. Finding the right products for natural hair is much harder than finding ones for natural hair. I thought I could just keep doing my hair the same way as before, well that quickly went out the window. I won't say that I feel so 'free' now that I'm not permed nor will I claim that I won't one day..maybe in a year or so get permed again. This was not a way for me to find my 'blackness' lol. It's was just a different look for me. 
I love when I'm wearing a wig or sew-in and tell people I'm natural. They always look at my skin color and assume that I have this nice curly hair lol. It's thick, not curly, and can get very dry.
This is days after my cut

2 months give or take

3months -I think

5mo going on 6months