And another one bites the dust
I know I just did a single blog but I got to go back there.
I received a text over the weekend from one of my last single girlfriends... She's getting FREAKIN married! Her guy proposed to her this weekend. Know how you're really happy for someone else but get really sad for yourself? Well that was me the moment I read that text. Now people don't get it twisted I loved my friend, I want whats best for her and I know how much she wants this. So I was more than a little happy for her but I almost started crying for me. It's really hard being one of the only non-married girls (in ya group) left when you been dreaming of a wedding, love, babies, and all the rest all your life. I think one of the reasons that being single is so hard for me right now is because 2 years ago ... shoot even 1 year ago I was doing the serial dating thang. I was dating at least 4 dudes back than, but right now I'm not dating anyone and quite frankly I'm so sick of all the BS that dudes sometimes let fall from their lips. I have 2 very big issues when it comes to finding a mate and dating. 1. I find that I'm just not the into the guy. I don't like his personality, his life choices, and simply don't want to be in his presence for long periods of time much less all my freakin life. 2. They want the cookie. Sorry not gon happen (even thought I Really...REALLY miss sex) I decides a while ago that I was done with giving my all to a dude who just wasn't worth it ,,, besides at this point I would hate to have waited years for some pointless BAD sex... I may just stab the dude lol... no really. So after hearing this I was at the point of going to get me a drink .. well a couple (which I don't do anymore... not since my early 20's) when I just had to shake myself. OK I'm not freakin married SO what. At 27 I like who I am. I know who I am, what I want, and what I deserve. For a while I was wondering if maybe I had made some bad decisions where relationships are concerned, but I believe that right now I am where I need to be and if that is single then oh well .. Now, know that I still want this oh so grand man but I realize that either I have not met him yet or the guys I know have yet to become the man I need them to be in order to be my forever (or I have yet to become his forever). So right not I have pulled myself back (again) and I'm ok... It has to be better to wait for Mr. Right who will make me happy...angry...sad... fuss.. laugh .. but mostly happy (I'm not delusional) than it is to settle for Mr. right now who will make me sad...cry, laugh, happy for a while, but mostly Sad and Disappointed.
