I don't remember anyone telling me that life would hurt this bad
 sure they said it wasn't fair but no one ever mentioned this pain
Life without you is more than hard
some days it's unbearable
I no longer know what it feels like to not miss you
to  not wake up or go to sleep without thinking about you.
 I no longer know how to get through a week without crying ...
tears falling one after another
like rain drops
sometimes too  fast sometimes slow.

the change in weather tells me that seasons have changed
but the pain in my soul has been the same everyday
     since you left
 it has been beyond hard without you.

There seems to be  no one who understands
even though I know others loved you.
 I don't want to pretend like everything is ok
 or like you are only on a short trip.
 I want to cry, 
 yell out
 hit something
until they understand that something is wrong.
You didn't just take a drive
 you wont be walking back in the doorway.

 why cant they understand
it hurts when I talk about you
 but it will kill me if I can't share my memories of you.
 Years haven't changed how much I miss you....

It's fall again
 leaves are changing,
 cool air is replacing the heat.
 I miss you most this time of year.
 I cry more
 sleep less
 your face fills my dreams
your laugh seems to float on the wind...
and I don't mind because my biggest fear
 is that I'll wake up and not remember your face
 that I'll forget your laugh
or the roughness of your hands.
 and I want to remember.
 I want to close my eyes and be able to see your smile.

 the hard part of remembering you are the regrets...
all the things you didn't see
all the things you won't see
miss you