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Living the Fat Life


So after 3 weeks and 23lbs I up and stopped WW. PMS is always hell for my diets. But I'm back to the books and following the plan because I'm really aware of how different I feel when I am eating healthier and following a plan that will get me to my goal. I have yet to reweigh myself after my outer fat side took over my inner fab side, because lets face it bloggers I am utterly terrified at how much I may have gained. Shaking in my boots over here, but in the next hour I will be going to the store to restock my fruit and veggies and when I get back straight to the scale I am going. So not ready for those numbers to stare back at me BUT it's my fault for living the fat life and forgetting the before 30 (gosh that number) goal.
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I don't think so brotha man

"that ones to stupid to keep"

I've written quite a bit about relationships, love, and crazy dudes. Well I have to revisit the subject. I recently met a guy... gave him my number took his ... blah blah blah same old song and dance. Well after the first conversation I was almost certain that NOTHING was going to happen with that, he was very cute but lacking brain power. Knowing that I can sometimes be ummmm just a little selective and not easy to please when it comes to men, I decided to give him another chance. WHY BLOGGERS WHY? Well I know why, it's because I'm single and I know that I don't want to be this way forever. One day I want to revisit the land of "in love" and than (after the ring and all that jazz) I would love to revisit the land of sex. But back to Mr. ewwwww. To just shorten the story he wanted sex, lots of it and different varieties... WITH ME WHOM HE KNOWS NOT AT ALL. Yall I'm not being naive I know that men want sex but I'm just so over some of the nasty, stupid things men say. I am not willing to randomly 'hook' up with some unknown dude hoping that it will turn into a relationship. According to new research someone in America becomes infected with AIDS every 9 minutes. That is huge numbers. When a new guy starts to talk sex really early I can't get pass it EVER. If I ever talk to him again all I can think about is the fact that he wanted to sleep with me up front, no questions asked, and that he may be infected. Maybe this sounds a little crazy to some but when you know the rate that people are dying from STDs you know that it's a very real thing. ...  anyway on to the next guy and next date.....

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Nameless husbands

Do husbands not have names? A few years ago when my friends started to marry off  they would refer to their husbands by name. Now husbands are simply ... husbands not Mike or David or Lawrence but simply 'my husband' Example,  "What are you doing today hun?' answer "My husband and I are going out."  Question, "Are you still up for this years trip?" answer 'Yes, but my husband is coming along" I don't get it bloggers, do men loose their names when they get married? I just want to scream "SAY HIS FREAKIN NAME.... I KNOW WHO HE IS TO YOU ALREADY!!" I really hope that I don't ever do this. Not sure if this is only the people I know, I hope so because I hate to think that people are doing this everywhere. People who have Nameless husbands are annoying.
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to love

I don't know how to write about anything other then love
I try but my pen stops me
I know that theirs more than love
but love is all I know
Can't seem to let go of all that's right or wrong with love
even when I'm not in love
So I write
with no one in mind
no sweetheart who fills my heart
no broken pieces left behind
I just write to love
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Ruben Studdard - (I'm Single)



Really feeeling this new Ruben.
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"Girl when you gon' have some babies"

I HATE this question bloggers. I H-A-T-E it... and quit frankly I don't understand it. I'm 28 trrue, BUT I'm also UNMARRIED, still in school:( and I work. Please tell me when  I have the time to properly care for a child... not to mention that I'm broke. When people used to ask me this question (family, friends, ppl from school, strangers that I have never met EVER) I used to say 'When I get married.' Was this ever the wrong response. People quickly become offended when I say this....since most of them are single parents. They seem to feel like I am saying 'oooh you're bad' OR they think (most of the time) that I'm saying "I am so MUCH better than you." I don't feel this way at all, BUT try telling an offended person what YOUR statement means. So now I simply say one day or make a little joke, but this is my blog so I feel very free to say what I want... and what I want to say is 'STOP ASKING ME THAT CRAZY QUESTION!!' With no man in site that I am willing to commit my life to, WHY would I have a child. And in this you don't have to be married because he's always there either in memory or in presents because YOU have a child with him. I just really don't get it. A study done on people with children showed that over 50% of parents actually REGRET having their children. I'm sure that there are many reasons for this high number, maybe money and age that they conceived, but the study still shows that there are too many ppl just having kids without knowing what it will take to rise them. I don't want that to me and I DON'T want to be a single mother. I want the whole package. Now that doesn't mean that I think less of single moms/dads, my bestie is a single mom and I think she is super at it. She works full time, goes to school full time, pays for super high daycare and is a awesome parent to her daughter. I respect her. BUT being a single parent is not something I think you should TRY to become. I want it all for my babies ...if at all possible.
Studies also prove that children don't make people happier in fact many people become Less happy and that children with fathers are smarter, more successful, and have a better chance of building healthy relationships in their lifetime.
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Seven

The world goes on,
but I  will always remember,
and as days turn into weeks
and weeks into months that become years,
the pain of losing you still feels like yesterday. 



Year seven and my tears are still falling
my heart is still hurting
and I still miss you
thought about your laugh
and your smile today about your voice
                                                      and your gentle way


...missing you more than yesterday and yet missing you everyday the same.

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Spring Fever

I have never been man crazy, never felt like I needed a man to survive or to be happy but there are many people around me who feel this way. In the last 2 weeks I have had to listen to more 'I need a man' whining and heard more 'don't worry sweetheart you'll find him' said to me in almost two years. And really bloggers it is EVERYWHERE! My friends want a man and all the ones who have one think that they should help me 'find' one as if men are lost. And if one more member of my family remind me that I've been single for a WHILE by saying 'Why don't you call ------ and go out... Or '------ was a good man, nothings wrong with him' I'm going to start to scream. Why is it that people HATE to see someone else single. Even friends in unhappy marriages, or bad relationships seem to think that being single is a curse, I realize that 28 is not 21 but neither is it 51. I still have time to meet a man whom I can love and have 2.5 kids with. I really need a vacay away from the Spring Fever that is about to start..... before it hits me too.
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Whitney Houston - You Give Good Love



My all time Favorite. Whitney Houston's 1st Single 'You Give Good Love'.   Gone at 48.
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"you don't even have a man!"

So yes I am the one who called him but right now I'm asking myself WHY?
well ok  I know why... My sister and I got into an argument about her boyfriend whom I have some issues with but I won't air out her laundry (as dirty...or as clean as it may be) and she basically told me to mind my own business and besides "You", meaning me "don't even have a man." This statement reminded me that there was an ex that I've intended to call for the last week or so. So I called with the intention of maybe setting up a hang out, chill out date and what do you know brother man is just as obnoxious as he was when we dated. How could I have forgotten his 'I'm always right and I know everything' manner. I am so kicking myself right now bloggers for letting my sisters comment make me feel like I 'needed' a relationship or a 'man' for even a second. I really do want a relationship BUT I want a healthy, secure, loving one. Just anything is not good enough for me and it shouldn't be good enough for anyone. *A piece of man is NOT better then no man. ...