..Insecurities


Some days I hate waking up fat. On those mornings I wish I had magic powers, the ability to go from my current size to about half my size. For the most part I only have those days one or two times a month, today was one of those days. I didn't go to sleep last night thinking "Man I wish I was smaller". In fact yesterday was a perfectly happy and confident day for me it's just something that I sometimes experience. The good thing is that I know that I'm not alone in this. I know that there are millions of other women out there who have the same feelings as I do. Maybe for them it's their skin or their hair or even something as crazy as their ears whatever it is I know that I am not alone in having my off days. College gave me a chance to meet lots and lots of different people. I don't think it was until then that I realized that I wasn't the only person in the world who fought for confidence every day. One of my closest friends there was this girl who till this day I think could give Halle Berry and Beyonce a run for their money... and probably win. She was beautiful. You would never guess by looking at her that she had to struggle to like her appearance. I would have never imaged that she had not one issue with what she saw when she looked in the mirror each day. But she had all the same issues that I had and many that I didn't have. On one of those long weeknights when we both should have been asleep because of early classes we stayed up late into the night and just simply talked (maybe there were some tears involved) and shared our insecurities.That conversation was the first of many more with not only her but other young women who felt the same way that we did. During my first year of college I discovered that I had a lot more confidence then most of the people surrounding me. I realized that more then likely it had always been that way only I never noticed. I do like myself and on most days I even like what I see when I look in the mirror. It's just that some days like today I wish that I wasn't fat. But then the day is over and I take a look at myself in the mirror and I realize that being fat helped to shape me into the person that I am. I do want to loose weight but I also realize that I love me just as I am and that their are lots of people who love me regardless of my size.