PO'ed



I have been mad at my best-friend for ummm about two weeks now... a better word would be pissed.
Ok bloggers if you don't know by now I have my days and my ways... I can really be a witch well make that a capitol B ... but I'm also very considerate of other people feelings and if I'm down with you then if I got it and you need it then its yours. I always try to be the bestest friend that I can be especially since I did something really wack to a friend when I was 17...but that's for another blogg
Back to this one
Well people my b-day is on the 17th ...27 here I am...  but wait b4 I get to it...
My bestie and I have been friends for about 10 years now but it wasn't until college that we became really close.  She has been there for me though some very difficult times in my life: boyfriend issues, broken hearts, family problems, and most important it was her shoulder I cried on when I loss my brother and my uncle. So we have some major things behind us.
This is not the first time I have been pissed at her but since she sometimes tune in to the blogg this will be the first time she knows.
Birthdays have never been very big in my family, the only persons in my family who ever bought me a gift or have given my something for my day is the brother and uncle that I have lost... I so miss them bloggers. I started getting gifts from friends at about ....15 ..(thx E)... for the next few years the only person I got a gift from was one of my exs ... and hunni that didn't last long...  after that ended I didn't get a gift for years....until I met Isadora Moore... and for the past 6...7 years I have gotten a gifts from her. I think the bestie and I have been doing the gift thing for about  4....5 years. I love birthdays bloggers..problem no one else seems to lol.
Ok so why am I pissed?
bout 2weeks ago I asked my friend about my b-day..
"Hey C are we doing something for my day?" I asked
Her answer
"Well it'll have to be like a week later."
I was beyond pissed. I'm always down for her day. request off from work .. call in even.. (and no I'm no asking that she jeopardize her job) BUT we can't do something for my day til a week later ...*if then b/c she kinda paused and said it as if she couldn't do it.
My aunt likes to say I'm an introvert ...whatevers going on with me I keep to self.. and once I'm good then we can talk again.
To take a minute to be honest..I don't trust people with how I really feel about almost nothing, the people in my life either disregard it, don't listen or get angry...and yeah that's everybody.
Well bloggers maybe you're thinking its just this one time right?
Hell ...no it isn't... last year we did nothing at all she was "tired" she dropped off my gift and that was the end
Year before that it was the same, I went out with a dude I was dating..ummm before that we went to 'her' friends house and did shit..... you see how this is going...
I can't remember a time when we did what I wanted to do on my damn birthday  if ever. In fact very little that we do is what I want... and yet I'm the bossy one in this friendship...how that work...  lol
This is my fault I should be more assertive less close mouthed I know ... And I don't want nor need a pity party about this ish but I do need to write about it.
I love my friend but I'm beginning to question this .... she called me today we talked shortly ...I forgot I was mad with her and almost called her twice
  I don't know bloggers I'm feeling hurt right now not just by her but by some family too but especially by her. In my opinion a friend should be your safe place, closer to you then even family because yall made a choice to be friends .... right now I don't feel like that's her. Maybe shes pissed at me for something I don't know but this is ....