Mieka No comment yet

Single girl...

As I have said before bloggers dating is hard. I'm dating right now, not any 1 special guy in fact not 1 guy at all... more like more than one. I'm not cheating or anything I'm simply dating. If one of them becomes more than simply a date than maybe I'll just date 1. A few months back I started to feel ... too single. I really just felt like I wasn't putting myself out there enough... and to be frank I started to simply miss hanging out with guys. So here I am bloggers dating. The hard thing with dating for me is that I simply don't believe the lines. I don't even want to hear them. I always simply want to go from the early morning text  "GM Beautiful" and the before bed time text of 'GN Sweetie' to the real conversations, the dreams, and life, and ... everything. The problem is that it seems that you have to go through the motions to get there. Another problem for me is the lies. I can't stand guys who won't stop saying things that aren't true. I tend to be really honest with men I just don't understand why they can't do the same for me... Anyway it's late... work tomorrow...date tomorrow, and than a drink with the girls.... hope he doesn't turn out to be psycho..but with my luck with men......
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Blessed



I'm 29 smarter than many, beautiful in my spirit, and kind in my soul. Am I the most intelligent? No. The sweetest? No.  Am I always right? .... NO. But who I am is someone who knows what I want, what I need, and what I deserve, and I am smart enough to know when those things aren't the same thing. At 20 there was alot that I was willing to accept from people.... At 25 a little less... and now both those times in my life are worlds away. I would rather be single than to be with someone who doesn't deserve ME. ... for everything that I am... fun, lame, crazy, mean, insecure, nice, selfish, honest, faithful, confident, selfless... ME. You NEVER have to like me but this is me, and I'm ok with that. I have overcome so many hurt feelings, so much self doubt that I am not at all willing to let any but the best in my life. Everyone else in the world should feel the same way. YOU are too good for drama, and too much for nonsense. YOU are a better person than to allow people who aren't good for you in your life!

I have been running into people who have made me rethink my past, my future and my present. I ran into an old friend who I'm not friends with anymore, a ex-boyfriend who at one time was a good friend and an old co-worker who is doing really well now and it just made me think bloggers...(I also had a run in with a crazy) about my life and me. Anyway ... Smile Still Bright.... Lets start this day again... the right way "Thank you God ... for EVERYTHING"
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Update


I need a new city. This one has lousy fishing.
fishing with my right hand throwing them back with my left
another one caught another one not good enough
Maybe its me and not the fish
my pole is too long... not long enough
Maybe I'm in the wrong river.
Maybe I need a lake.


Happy day bloggers
I so need a new job I am over the one I have. New plan of action fill out a new application every day until I'm somewhere else. Weight... do we even have to go there... lets not.. really people it's bad, maybe I'll have better news in a week. Found a new workout buddy I think this one is a keeper, we shall see. It is so hard to find someone who will actually workout .. not that I need a partner if I want this I can do it all by myself, but company is nice. Love update... read above... something is just not working for me there bloggers. I just want a honest cute, smart, tall, guy to spend some time with, get to know, get married to, have sex with, and have a baby with that's all ....where is he universe. Life update... sick of school but it is a mission I must complete, I need a new place, a fun-cation and than a vacation, and I need my friends to jump on the not lame, fun train.   *My smile is in place


Same day a little later
New plan II
I need to find a church bloggers. A for real church where people believe in GOD and aren't just there for show. A church where people are living everyday like it's Sunday and not drunk, cussing and partying up until it's time to go to church and than again after the sermon is over. 
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All or Nothing



Dating is hard bloggers, really it is. Recently a friend of mine went out with this dude and she found herself questioning weather or not he was honest. Well at the time I didn't give it much thought because quite frankly I could care less if the dudes I have been dating lately are honest or not. (I haven't liked any of them beyond a few dates) So there was no wondering or asking myself 'Is this dude 4real?' Well I find myself thinking about my friend right now and how she feels about trusting men.
Relationships have not at all been easy or kind to me. I don't think that all men are going to cheat or lie but I do think that it is hard to determine if you are dating a honest guy. Right now I'm asking myself that question. When it comes to relationships and men I have learned to take everything at face value until I am shown otherwise. .. and believe me when I say it doesn't take much for me to see that a guy who looks to be a nice honest guy isn't. Another thing that I have learned bloggers is that sex makes it very difficult to see a lie coming or to recognize a cheater. It is so important to just get to know the person you're dating before even thinking about being intimate with them. It makes it easier to break up with them and so simple to leave when you find out he's not what he claims. I'm not giving advice with this blog I'm just reminding myself why I'm not in nor have been in a sexual relationship in years. It is so very easy to let yourself fall into lust but it's never worth it to give your all only to watch him walk away later.





2nd VERSE

No need for love
Unless it’s Mr. oh, Mr. Right
And only because
Mixin’ lust with love only mean a fight
‘Cuz there’ll be dues to pay
And most of all many sleepless nights
But that won't be today, no
Guess I’ll see ya, love, it’s been nice
Until then...








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Still Fat... Still Pretty....Still ME

Somewhere along the way I lost my motivation but 2 days back in and I think that maybe I have found it again. I'm really hoping that I keep it. Trying to remember that as hard as it is to diet the reward will be wonderful..  
                                             Mission- Fat2Fit
                                             Goal: Healthy by 30

 
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Just Me

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Weight update...life update

So .... my weight is the same I have not lost at all in the last 3 months the good news is that I have not gained so I'm still at 50lbs gone. I'm still determined in fact I'm more determined. I'm right now recovering from an infection that just got crazy bad. I've been under the weather since the start of July but didn't know about the infection until mid July. This illness has made me more determined to loose weight because I don't think it would have been as bad if I was smaller in fact I'm almost sure of it.  As a type 2 diabetic it's harder for my body to fight off an illness  and I have no doubt that if I was at a healthier size I wouldn't be a diabetic at all..   Anyway bloggers that's whats going on
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10 years

What were your dreams in high school? What are they now? I recently went to my 10 year HS reunion, and let me tell you bloggers life today is not at all what I thought it would be 10 years ago. I guess I had dreams of just being ... different. A different size, a different career .... a different me. But high school was a long time ago and the real world is nothing like sitting in your room dreaming. The real world is full of valleys, mud-hills and every once in a while mountains. In other words there's always something or someone that you have to go under or around or even right though and often it's messy. Sometimes I'm sad that my life aren't those dreams that I dreamed through my HS years. That I'm not a famous writer (despite my spelling and other English errors) or that I haven't traveled to an exotic land. Adulthood has a way of killing dreams. It's so easy as a child to close your eyes and image the world as your oyster but than childhood ends and life happens. Illness, bills, jobs, death.... Life happens, and in the mist of it dreams get lost. But I realize that I still have today and if GOD is willing than I have tomorrow as well. So what are my plans for the next 10 years? I don't know exactly but I know that I want to be happy and I know that I don't want to be anything different than me.... just more me


Dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Langston Hughes
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Fat Fight

SOooo I stopped WW... and working out for about 2 weeks. I am so sad about that because I gained and now I have to move backward. It is so hard to re-start a diet, but today was my first day back on and I did ok...not as well as I wanted to but I now have the ball rolling and once again I'm back to the fat fight. Sad I have to re-lose what I gained plus more to reach my next goal but happy because I know that I can do this.
Mieka 1 comment

Heel Envy (Hating)

I am so freakin hating on all thease high, freak 'em, heel wearing chicks. I can not wait until I drop another 50lbs b/c I am so doing the heel. I'm going to be 6'5 in them but oh well. I love sexy give it to me heels. lol The reason that I'm not into wearing them now is because I just think they are too much for me at my height and size. (Nothing agaist the big girls who are... hunnie more power to you
I am so hating on Ms. Naica in these wedge blue suede heels.
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