So he says he love me.....

My family loves to bring up this dude I used to date whenever we all get together. They loved the dude only problem is that I didn't. I ran into him about two months ago and we talked for a little while.. well actually he goes to the same university as I do... while I procrastinator that I am is still working on one degree.. don't get me wrong yall I love that I finally got it together with this school thing but I'm just being honest.... umm anyway he is working on a second masters and from here his plan is to get a PH.D.  ... are you starting to see why they like him so much :) Even my crazy uncle .. likes him...  So when I ran into him we chatted for a while and exchanged numbers.. as I was doing this my mind was screaming "DON'T" but I did. So we have had a few conversations... Bloggers I was really hoping that something would be different something.. but it was the same ole thing I just don't see myself in love with him..BUT when we dated he told me that he was in love with me and by the things that he has said to me I know that would like to start up a relationship with me again ...well wait I don't feel like we were in a relationship the first time.. just ummm two people of the opposite sex who hung out, watched movies went to dinner every ... well 3 times out the week and saw each other every I'm being stupid... a relationship. I... I don't want that!...I .... I don't think I want that? shoot bloggers I don't know
You know what I want what I REALLY want?
I want a man who I am crazy attracted to... not saying he has to be Will Smith... who has mad confidence, and is doing SOMETHING with his life. For whatever reason all the guys that I date who I can see myself into are really BAD for me (tears, broken-heart...blah blah blah) and all the ones who seem to be GOOD for me I'm just not..into
Is it me bloggers... I really want to know.. am I allowing myself to only really like ...cheater, liars, users... and turning away all the men I can have a future with?
There is a lot more to this story but I'ma just think on this a lil bit B4 I tell you the whole deal with this dude and why I may be a failure in love.

1 comment

Dee O. | January 2, 2011 at 9:35 PM

I sooooooo feel you on this! I feel like attraction has to be natural! We should never feel like we have to be attracted to someone, if we aren't then we just aren't. It is when we force feelings that aren't there in the first place that the trouble comes lol, so it is great that you are being honest with yourself. I too want that guy that I am going to be so so so attracted to! I feel that relationships are far more bearable when both parties are into it, as close to a 50-50 relationship as possible. 30-70 relationships aren't any fun lol! Great post :)

(And ps...your playlist is DOPE! Oh my goodness, I love your taste in music. You've got that GOOD R&B going!)